NEEDLE ROCK, NEBRASKA –
Officer Dan Bularsky of the Needle Rock Police Department, says he has “rounding up illegal immigrants” definitely penciled in on his 2017 to do list in response to the directive from new President-Elect Donald Trump. “Oh yeah, it’s on there” the officer said. “Sergeant Magill mentioned at the start of the new year that the president wanted us to keep our eyes peeled for illegal immigrants, so we’ve all got it on our to do list”.
Officer Bularsky took time out of his busy schedule on Friday to sit down with a local reporter at Rosalita’s Taco stand on Edgecomb Boulevard to discuss the nation’s new priority on capturing illegal immigrants. “The tacos here are the absolute greatest, bar none” he said as he ordered 2 fish tacos and an enchilada at the counter. “Rosalita makes crazy good empanadas, too. It’s probably the biggest decision of the day, whether to go for beef or fish – they are both awesome.”
“Most days there is a line to the door during lunch, when the workers come over from the meat-packing plant across the street. They’re really good guys over there. One of them drives his lowrider up and down main street on Sundays and honks his horn for the kids – they love it.”
When asked if it was possible that there might be illegal immigrants working at Rosalita’s Tacos or the meat-packing plant, Officer Bularsky said “Oh I don’t know. I guess it’s hypothetically possible” as he finished his third taco and licked his fingers. When asked if he was going to question any of the employees, he replied that it was definitely on his to do list.
“I have a pretty full schedule though. There are the bike safety lectures at Needle Rock Elementary, washing the squad car, routine maintenance like checking tire pressure, inspecting and cleaning our equipment, patrolling, visiting with people in the precinct, sweeping up around the station, recycling events. Honestly, it’s hard to say when I’ll get around to it,” he said.
“Excuse me, I need to take this call”, he said as his cell phone rang. “It’s Wendy at dispatch. She needs me to pick up a half dozen donuts for the office.”
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