Sleemonsters on Mars Remove Trump Name from Nearby Crater

Sleemonsters on Mars Remove Trump Name from Nearby Crater


Sleemonsters living in a crater that was named after president-elect Donald Trump in 1992 have decided this week to remove the Trump name from their Martian home.

The crater is located near the massive volcano Olympus Mons in the Mars northern hemisphere. The crater’s original scientific designation, MO-13189, was changed by Cornell astronomy grad student Charley Markley who applied to the International Astronomical Union to give the crater a name back in 1992.

“Me and some of the other students at the time were joking that this crater seemed to be in a prime spot for real estate, with a great view of the volcano, and Trump was in the news a lot back then for wheeling and dealing, so I submitted the name and the IAU approved it.”

While the Sleemonsters who live in the crater on Mars did not seem to have a problem with the Trump moniker back then, it became clear after Trump’s first year in office that they would move to disassociate themselves from the Trump name.


Not Liking The Name Of Crater

Sleemonsters are cannibal creatures that routinely eat their own parents and children. They are reknown in the solar system for exceptional cruelty to their own species, usually torturing their victims by flaying them alive with their giant spiked claws. They frequently eat their own scat, and produce a noxious toxin from their pores that can be detected from satellites in orbit.

“I guess they weren’t too crazy about living in Trump crater” said Mr. Markley. “You wouldn’t think they would care, living 40 million miles away from New York. But there you go.”
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