TELLURIDE, CO –
Although it took much cajoling from the planners of the presidential inauguration committee, the father of the world famous Von Trump Family Singers finally relented and agreed that the children would perform at the inaugural ball and talent competition.
The announcement was made with great fanfare by music producer and friend to the Von Trumps, Max Martin, who is famous for collaborating with the Backstreet Boys and other musical families. “It is with great joy, that I announce the Von Trump Family Singers will make the trip to Washington to perform as part of the inauguration ceremonies. Finally, Washington DC will get to witness the musical prowess of this amazing and charming family.”
The much sought-after Von Trumps generally stay close to home in their mountain village of Telluride, Colorado. However, the inaugural committee was very persuasive, making “an offer they could not refuse” said a member of the team. The Von Trumps will join Kid Rock, the Rockettes, and other musical theater talents in the nation’s greatest showcase.
“It’s vital that the Von Trump family demonstrate their loyalty to the incoming administration” said a committee spokesperson. “Mr. Von Trump is a well known landowner in Telluride, and the people of Colorado need to see that he is giving his full support to the new president.”
According to a friend, the family was anxiously packing their clothes last night before a talent show in nearby Aspen, where they were scheduled to go on as the final act. White House Strategist Stephen Bannon said that he would drive to the mountain village in his personal limousine to escort the family to Washington immediately after the performance, bringing a special Blackwater security detail to ensure their safety. Said Mr. Bannon “The president-elect would be very displeased should they fail to appear at the inaugural talent competition. My men and I will ensure they arrive in good time.”
Max Martin assured the Strategist that the family would meet Mr. Bannon right after the show. Just as soon as the winners were announced.
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