Trump Invites President Duterte To Shoot Drug Users On 5th Avenue

Trump Invites President Duterte To Shoot Drug Users On 5th Avenue


After declaring that he had a “great relationship” with President Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines on Monday, President Trump further extended his gesture of friendship today by suggesting some much needed recreational time shooting suspected drug users on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.

The President, who famously said he could stand on 5th Avenue in Manhattan, shoot somebody, and not lose any voters, believes the same courtesy should also be extended to President Duterte.

“President Duterte, like myself, is a man of the people,” said the President. “And as such, he has the right to shoot people randomly on the street, and not suffer any adverse consequences.”


Doing The City A Favor

Although murder is against the law in the State of New York, the Presidents are unconcerned with legal repercussions. “We are the leaders of our respective countries. Also, we will only shoot those pedestrians we believe to be drug users, which will be doing the city of New York a big league favor, believe me” continued President Trump.

Asked if the Presidents will mount any of their trophies from the 5th Avenue hunt, Mr. Trump declared that any dead suspected drug dealers will be harvested for organ donation to benefit the people of the Philippenes. Unless of course they bag any journalists from a major network, in which case the bodies will be taken to the morgue for processing.

“I would not want the people of the Philippines to receive any organs from the fake news media,” said Mr. Trump. “You never know if that kind of thing might be contagious.”
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