Moon To Cockblock Sun In Lame Move Says Mercury

Moon To Cockblock Sun In Lame Move Says Mercury


The planet Mercury, one of Earth’s closest neighbors, has long grown accustomed to the antics of the Earth’s moon. But the latest move by the Moon to cockblock the Earth from receiving the warming rays of the the Sun kind of took the cake.

“So typical,” said the smallest and innermost planet in our solar system. “Just because it happens to be in the neighborhood, the Moon chooses to totally deny the Earth from getting those good rays.”

“Ever since the Moon broke off from the Earth during the early formation of the planets, it has been jealous of everything the Earth has,” said Mercury. “A stable atmosphere, water, the existence of life. You name it – the Moon wants it. Why can’t the Moon just be happy with what it has?”

“I’m 54 million miles closer to the sun than the Moon – do you know how hot that gets? Pretty friggin hot, I’ll tell you,” Mercury exclaimed. “But do you hear me complain about what other planets have? No. No, you do not.”

When asked why he planned to cockblock the Sun’s rays, the Moon declined to comment, saying only “Mercury obviously has small planet syndrome.”
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