Man Kneels To Pray During National Anthem, Flummoxes Vice President Pence

Man Kneels To Pray During National Anthem,  Flummoxes Vice President Pence


A man who knelt down to pray in the parking lot of an NFL stadium during the national anthem Sunday night reportedly confused and perplexed Vice President Mike Pence sources said.

The former Indiana Governor had made a high-profile exit earlier in the day after NFL players knelt during the national anthem at Lucas Field in Indianapolis, prior to the Colts playing the San Francisco 49ers. However, Vice President Pence was unsure how to react when news spread of the man kneeling to pray.


What Is His Deal Anyway?

When the Vice President was told about the man kneeling at the Cowboys home field praying, he questioned aides about the man’s intentions, saying “what is his deal anyway?” The aides responded that they were not sure, but that they believe he was a person with strong religious convictions.

The Vice President reportedly replied that he, too, had strong religious convictions. But he does not generally choose the moment of the national anthem to pray.


Vexing Question

As various religious leaders around the country weighed in to support the man for demonstrating his devotion to God during the nation’s most patriotic song, the Vice President reportedly grew more uneasy about the news story.

“I admire this man and his strong faith,” he said at one point, looking out the window of the West Wing before a security briefing. Later in the evening, as he walked past some officials who had gathered to meet him for dinner, he remarked “but kneeling during the national anthem is disrespectful”.

“On the one hand,” the Vice President said later to his pet rabbit, Marlon Bundo, “God would certainly be pleased that this man was praying. That much is clear.”

“But God would also want this man to stand for the national anthem and show respect for this great nation, that loves God so much.”


Cancelling All Appointments In October

Unable to come to a conclusion about whether the praying man was a noble figure worthy of praise, or a rotten traitor disrespecting all that is good in this world, the Vice President instructed his staff to clear his calendar in October, so that he could work out an answer to the perplexing question.

“Surely this man would want to honor the brave soldiers who have fought and died for his right to pray,” said the Vice President to no one in particular as he lay awake attempting to fall asleep. “But then, if the whole point of fighting wars is to make it safe for him to pray, then how can it be wrong to exercise that right?”

The praying man could not be reached for comment, however, sources later confirmed that the man had located the quarter he dropped when the national anthem began.
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