ATLANTA, GA –
The LGBT community was up in arms this week over questions from Georgia Representative Betty Price about legally placing people who have HIV in quarantine from the rest of the population.
Make America The Best came up with 5 other quarantine plans that the Congresswoman failed to ask about, but certainly could in future legislative hearings:
1) Hip Hop Artists
Surely the state has an interest in the edification of young children, and the scourge of rap lyrics has long been a sore spot for concerned politicians. A quarantine for rappers and hip hoppers would allow the Georgia congress to review their lyrics for telltale signs of misogyny and references to “purple drank”, before releasing the songs to the citizens of Georgia.
Another problematic group that disseminates left-leaning news coverage into the general population. The writing of journalists is highly contagious to Georgians in terms of how they view the world. Keeping them away from the general public would stop the flow of diseased thought, like national health care and free college tuition, from reaching epidemic status and possibly being voted on.
America guarantees religious freedom for all, but nobody ever said that you can practice your religion just anywhere you want. A quarantine on people who are not christian would give them the added value of being able to connect with each other, and ask themselves why it is they don’t believe in Jesus Christ?
4) Mets Fans
Carpet-bagging fans of the NY Mets have long been a thorn in the side of Georgia’s beloved Atlanta Braves. Plus, they come from New York, so the possibility of having some disease is much higher than your average Georgian. Placing a quarantine on these unruly visitors would make good public health sense.
Obviously, someone just needs to keep an eye on these people.
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