YOUR TOWN, USA –
A new app is undergoing testing by a local software company that promises to finally get the attention of people you have been yelling at for years.
Billed as the “first breaking news app that’s truly local”, it allows the user to create screen crawls on special televisions in the home to alert other family members to important messages like ‘dinner is ready’, or ‘the house is on fire’.
Capitalizing on an uptapped market of enraged men and women who are being ignored by zombie-like family members staring cult-like at a screen in the next room, the new “Breaking Dinner” app promises to be a popular holiday gift.
A Tsunami Is Approaching
“Finally, I can alert people sitting ten feet away from me that their lives could be in danger and actually get them to respond,” said Mary Traverly, who volunteered to test the product. “The first time that my 12 year old son came to the dinner table without me having to yell for an hour until I was horse actually made me cry.”
Money Is No Object
Although the system is still experimental, and requires special TV screens and expensive cabling, people that have tested it say they don’t care what the cost is.
“The possibility that the people I love can actually receive and understand a message from me while watching TV is priceless,” said David Caruko, husband, and father of three boys. “The other night I sent my wife an ‘I love you’ screen crawl while she was watching “Survivor” and she actually responded via text. It was amazing.”
The “Breaking Dinner” app will be available for purchase on Amazon just as soon as the reporter writing this article can figure out how to become a contestant on Shark Tank.
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