WASHINGTON DC –
The Treasury Secretary of the United States has a lot of business to attend to, and there is not a lot of time for reflection when you’re in charge of promoting economic prosperity for the entire nation. However, after recently posing for a picture of a sheet of newly minted dollar bills that bore his signature, Steve Mnuchin paused to ask a question: why does the American middle class suck so badly?
Must Be Full Of Idiots
Born into a family of diamond dealers and son of a hedge fund manager, Mr. Mnuchin does not have any experience being middle class, and has been hard pressed to understand exactly why people with a middle income are such morons.
“It’s incredible to me that millions and millions of middle class people voted for a Republican congress, installed Donald Trump as President, and consequently have people like me running their government. It’s completely mind-boggling,” he said.
“If you’re a person of modest means, why on earth would you want the wealthiest people in the country making all the decisions about who will benefit from government policy? It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. I mean, you have to be dumb as a stick to vote for that.”
Would Be Embarrassed To Be Part Of Such A Bunch Of Losers
The Secretary went on to say that he would be ashamed to be counted as part of a group that is too dumb to vote to improve its lot in life.
“If I was drowning, and the water was full of life preservers, but instead of grabbing one of them I asked someone to hand me a 50 pound rock, I would deserve to drown. Right? I mean, at some point, aren’t we all responsible for helping ourselves? Sheesh.”
Will Try And Help The Dummies Out
That said, Secretary Mnuchin said he will do his best to help the idiot middle class as best he can, even though they don’t deserve it.
Unfortunately, when told that Mr. Mnuchin wanted to throw the middle class a bone, congress said in no uncertain terms that the middle class can go suck it.
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