Tillerson Announces Plan To Merge US And Russian State Departments

Tillerson Announces Plan To Merge US And Russian State Departments


Since taking office as Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson has worked tirelessly to cut what he sees as the bloated bureaucracy of the US State Department, reducing the list of duties and assignments, causing many long time foreign service workers to resign or retire.

In a move to further clamp down on the spiraling cost of diplomacy, gain valuable synergies and reduce overhead, Tillerson this week announced that the State Departments of the United States and long time adversary Russia will merge to create a more nimble state department that can better respond to the demands of the international marketplace of the 21st century.


Better Positioned To Meet Needs Of Other Countries

“This merger will improve the performance and efficiency of both the US and Russian State Departments and position them for excellent long term growth”, said the Secretary on a conference call with investors. “Countries who are loyal to the US brand, and those who prefer Russia’s brand, can now be serviced by one global State Department that will combine the best of both worlds.”

“The new US-Russian State Department will be able to maximize profits by eliminating redundant embassies, and cutting the number of ambassadors in half,” he said. “This will allow it to leverage its combined global presence to increase market share, and thrive in the coming fiscal year and beyond.”


US Treasury Bills Expected To Split

The merger will be completed by a Treasury Bill swap in which the two countries will exchange securities, creating a new investment vehicle called the AmerRus Fund. US Treasury Bills are expected to split on the news, as the market welcomes a leaner, more nimble US State Department.


The New US-Russo State Department Leadership

Although it remains to be seen who will control the new State Department, sources say that Tillerson will be tapped to head up the new agency and continue to work from Washington.

The Kremlin, meanwhile, will assume day-to-day operations in Moscow, which will eventually become the new defacto headquarters for US foreign affairs.

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