GREENHAVEN, AR –
In a series of quiet movements that played out over more than two hours on Tuesday night, Sparcado, a two year-old chihuahua belonging to the Richter family of Greenhaven, Arkansas, finally snuck up this week behind the family cat Boris, taking the feline completely by surprise.
Boris was busy watching a bird through a window while sitting in a box on the floor of the family room. Sparcado, who was resting in the adjoining hallway at the time, painstakingly approached the cat by crossing to a chair across the room, leaping onto its cushion, and slowly walking along a bookshelf without making a sound.
“Dogs are not typically very stealthy animals, and in general do not have great patience,” said local veterinarian Miguel Espinozas. “So, when this kind of event occurs, it is usually a function of a cat with hearing loss or some other issue that prevents it from sensing the approaching dog.”
“However, in this case, the cat Boris appears to be in perfect health. Sparcado managed to surprise him by employing stalking techniques more normally associated with felines.
For All Dogs Everywhere
As Sparcado looked down from his position high above the box in which Boris lay, he reflected on his achievement:
“I am but a poor chihuahua from the humble region of Guanajuato, descended from the Techichi of the Toltec civilization, from a lineage that roamed the palaces of Montezuma the Second.”
“What I do this day, I do not just for my chihuahuan ancestors, or only for house dogs, but for all dogs everywhere.”
“For the sled dogs living on the icy slopes of Alaska pulling their charges through terrible blizzards.”
“For the sheep dogs vigilantly tending their flocks in Scotland along the foggy moors in a driving rain.”
“For the Shar-Peis standing silently for generations, keeping watch over the Emperor’s Forbidden City in Bejing.”
“For the Saint Bernards delivering lifesaving wine in the highest reaches of the Swiss alps to explorers who have lost their way.”
“Today, we are avenged. Today, we reign supreme. Today, I will surprise this cat.”
As Sparcado prepared to leap down on the unsuspecting Boris, he was suddenly distracted by the sound of his enemy, the dishwasher, which caused him to bark and knock over three stacks of books and a Newton’s Cradle.
Sparcado’s time out in his kennel is expected to last until dinner time.
Your Trusted Source for Faux News