WASHINGTON DC –
Republicans across Washington heaved a sigh of relief this week when a comprehensive tax bill was signed into law by President Trump before he headed to his vacation home at Mar-A-Lago in Palm Beach, Florida, for the holidays.
“Finally, we can cut get rid of that idiot,” said several lawmakers, who asked not to be named, given the President’s penchant for singling out citizens to be persecuted by a mob.
“It’s been a nightmare putting up with this guy in the White House,” said one member of congress, “but now that we’ve got the tax bill signed, we can finally show him the door, thank God.”
Fast-track Impeachment
As of Thursday, House members were convening to review the rules for impeachment, so they can find the quickest path to remove the 45th President from office.
“Now that we have secured a good tax bill that will benefit businesses in this country, it can’t be done fast enough, really,” said a congressman from a southern state. “There is no need to wait for Special Prosecutor Mueller’s findings. We’ve got all we need to impeach the President right now.”
“It will be a slam dunk,” the congressman stated.
Back To Twitterville
“Where I come from, they say ‘it’s better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than to open it and remove all doubt’, said one long-standing member of the the Republican caucus. “Well, this gentleman has been running his mouth like the Colorado river since Cain slew Abel, and all doubt was removed a long time ago.”
“We are all anxious to send him back to social media land at the earliest possible convenience, so he can stop damaging our beloved country.”
Full Tank Of Gas
Said one junior member of the House: “I have a full tank of gas in my car and am taping my phone to my ear at night just in case – I don’t care if it’s a midnight vote or whatever. This will be done as soon as humanly possible.”
Impeachment proceedings are scheduled to begin in five minutes, or as soon as Paul Ryan can get to a phone – whichever comes first.
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