Trump Vows To Punish Canada Until China Comes To Its Senses

Trump Vows To Punish Canada Until China Comes To Its Senses


President Donald Trump demonstrated his resolute commitment to reining in trade deficits with China this week by enacting punishing tariffs on the nation’s closest ally, Canada, vowing that they would not end until China changes the way it does business with the United States.


US Can No Longer Stand Idly By

Saying the US would no longer be complacent in the face of China’s multi-billion dollar advantage in trade, the President proposed steep tariffs on his country’s closest ally and friend, Canada, in hopes that China would finally end its unfair practices.

“China needs to be brought under control,” said the President from the White House Rose Garden this morning.

“For too long, the United States stood by as China used cheap labor to produce goods at low prices, making it very difficult for US companies to compete. This is why my administration is taking immediate action, by enacting high tariffs on our close ally Canada which we will hammer on, and keep in place, until China changes its tune.”


Countries Both Start With Letter “C”

While it was unclear why the President chose to start a trade war with a country that shares a 5,000 mile border, speaks the same language, and has been a loyal friend to the US for hundreds of years, aides in the White House said the President was simply doing what needed to be done.

“This is what leadership looks like,” said White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders.

“For years, Canada has supplied reasonably-priced steel to US factories while China has maintained a huge advantage over US companies in global trade. The President is simply doing what the Obama administration should have done long ago: punishing the nation most-likely to have our backs under any circumstances in order to make an adversary do what we want.”


Trade Wars Easy To Win

Although the President’s tariffs on steel will not affect the Chinese, since the US buys almost no steel from China, The President vowed he would not back down, and would increase the severity of his penalties against Canada if China did not comply.

“We will increase sanctions and tariffs on Canada over and over and over again until China gives the US what it wants in concessions,” the President said. “If the Chinese leaders think that Canada will somehow escape the consequences of China’s actions, it is sorely mistaken.”

In addition to tariffs on steel, the President promised to inflict dramatic penalties on Canadian imports of milk, timber, and precious metals into the US if China did not raise their prices on goods immediately.

And further, that even stronger measures will be taken against Canada if China did not force Kim Jong-Un to disarm his nuclear arsenal in time for the US midterm elections.
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