WASHINGTON DC –
In the wake of Justice Anthony Kennedy’s announced retirement from the US Supreme Court, President Trump moved swiftly today to nominate internet meme Scumbag Steve as the replacement for the 81-year old judge.
Met At A Key Party At Mar-A-Lago
The president, a longtime fan of the erstwhile internet sensation, reportedly met Mr. Steve at a key party thrown by one of his guests at his Palm Beach resort.
“Scumbag Steve is one of the funniest guys you will ever meet. He had me in stitches with that coat of his – and that hat. And he was also very smart about the law. He could tell you 10 different ways you could get off for possession of marijuana in New Jersey. And let me tell you, they were very good tips.”
“I have no doubt he will make an excellent Supreme Court justice and I’m sure will be confirmed very quickly by the other justices.”
Never Been To Law School
Although Scumbag Steve has not passed the bar, studied law, or even graduated from high school, the president was enthusiastic about installing him on the highest court of the land.
“Steve will be the best Supreme Court justice ever. I know he will make the best decisions based on his years of experience defending against petty misdemeanors and other crimes of convenience, for which he was never convicted. In addition, he will bring a youthful exuberance and flair for fashion that is sorely needed in government.”
When reached for comment, Scumbag Steve said that he was not sure why the president thought he should be a judge, but he was damn sure he would do a better job than that fucking philosophical dinosaur.
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Editors note: Make America The Best would like to apologize to Scumbag Steve for this article, who by all accounts is a stand up guy named Blake Boston. We have no idea whether Mr. Boston has been to Mar-A-Lago, has vast knowledge of marijuana case law, or any of the other assertions in this article – but the editors are sure that Mr. Boston would make a much better president than the current occupant, and hopes that he will consider running in 2020.