Nation’s Only Google Plus User Distraught Over Loss Of Entire Social Network

Nation’s Only Google Plus User Distraught Over Loss Of Entire Social Network


Visibly distraught over the announcement by internet giant Google that it’s shutting down the Google Plus social network for good, Nathan Markinson, the nation’s only Google Plus enthusiast, expressed utter disbelief.


A Life’s Work

“How can you shut down a person’s whole social network just because of one security error?” said Mr. Markinson, referring to the company’s disclosure of an unexploited network vulnerability fixed in March.

“My entire life in 34,292 disparate postings and random photos without a narrative of any kind is right there for anyone to discover on Google Plus. And now they want to just wipe that away?”

“What if someone wanted to find it?” said Mr. Markinson. “I mean, how do they know whether someone might use the service?”


Hard To Define

The service, Google’s fourth foray into social networking, followed on the heels of Google Buzz (launched 2010, retired in 2011), Google Friend Connect (launched 2008, retired by March 1, 2012), and Orkut (launched in 2004, and as of 2013, operated entirely by subsidiary Google Brazil).

After experiencing strong growth in its initial years, usage statistics have varied for Google Plus, depending on how the service is defined.


Missed The South Pacific

“Do they have any idea how many photos I’ve cropped to maximize for the Google Plus platform?” Mr. Markinson protested.

“I documented my life from 2009-2012 by posting once every three minutes, and passed up a free trip to Fiji with my aunt so I wouldn’t miss posting daily Shakespeare quotes – for what? And now I’m just supposed to pretend that I don’t have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome because of it?”

“Those are years I’ll never get back,” he cried.

The Google announcement indicated that the service would not be fully shut down until August 2019 – which sources say should be enough time to allow Mr. Markinson to download and migrate his information to

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