President Bans Use of Prepositions On Twitter

President Bans Use of Prepositions On Twitter

Unhappy at repeated criticism surrounding his use of grammar on Twitter, President Trump today lashed out at what he termed “PC Fake English” and said he is banning all extra words on social media.

“The Fake News thinks they are so good with grammar – but they use too many words that take up valuable space and waste electricity that could be used to watch TV. From now on, everyone needs to write like me – no extra words!”

The president then released a list of words that are no longer acceptable to Tweet:

  • throughout – “too many vowels, don’t need it”
  • at – “people should use @”
  • of – “of what? of who? of Fake news? get rid of it”
  • from – “boring”
  • including – “sounds like collusion – no including!”
  • among – “this word is too much like chinese”
  • upon – “too fancy, sounds like Hillary”
  • concerning – “what’s there to be concerned about?”
  • into – “is it in or to? not a word!”
  • despite – “speak american not french”
  • during – “during testimony? nobody cares!”
  • until – “no”
  • towards – “no”
  • against – “I’ve got no problem with against”

A spokesperson for Twitter had no comment, but said the company will closely monitor how many likes the president’s tweet receives before they make a decision.
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