Jesus Performs Miracle Restoration Of ASCAP Publishing Royalties

Jesus Performs Miracle Restoration Of ASCAP Publishing Royalties

Showing the doubters of this world once again that they would do well not to underestimate Him, Jesus performed another miracle this week guiding a jury to hold musical artist Katie Perry responsible for appropriating a portion of the song “Joyful Noise” in her 2013 hit “Dark Horse”.

In an act of divine justice, Jesus restored the missing royalties that should have been paid long ago to to christian rap band “Flame.”

Said Lecrae Devaughn Moore, rapper and member of the band: “It is only right that He who is All-Merciful and All-Knowing would perform this miracle of calculating the various payments due to us, including public performances, mechanical distribution, synchronization, and sheet music. Obviously we are humbled in the face of this intervention by the Lord.”

“Truly we are blessed,” he added.

While the Lord and Master of the Universe did not address the percentage of publishing the band would be entitled to for “Dark Horse,” sources say Jesus will decree it to be 25% for downloads and streaming, with a 12.5% administration fee and a 10% share in any parody versions.
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