In an effort to curtail what he described as “a fake news outbreak” concerning his activities in office, President Trump today announced several new rules for his administration, including a ban on any and all types of whistles, flutes and other noise-making devices.
Also included in the president’s directives:
- No more listening in
- No more writing stuff down
- No more talking about stuff
- No more CD-ROMs
- No more broccoli for lunch
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