Trump Revelation: I Taught Chuck Berry How To Play Guitar

Trump Revelation: I Taught Chuck Berry How To Play Guitar

  PALM BEACH, FL – Although the country continues to mourn the death of consummate songwriter, guitar virtuoso, and architect of Rock and Roll Chuck Berry, President Trump made a surprise revelation at his Mar-A-Lago resort Saturday. It was, in fact, a young President Trump who had taught Chuck Berry how to play guitar in […]

GOP Reassures Americans: Fear Of Poverty Will Keep You Healthy

GOP Reassures Americans: Fear Of Poverty Will Keep You Healthy

  WASHINGTON DC – GOP lawmakers released some positive news Tuesday as they sought to reassure the 24 million Americans who stand to lose their health insurance under the new Republican plan to repeal Obamacare: rest assured, all will be well. “It’s understandable that Americans losing their insurance under our plan will be concerned about […]

Trump Spaceship Almost Ready For Departure

Trump Spaceship Almost Ready For Departure

  THE EARTH – Summoned via Twitter from across the galaxy, a spacecraft dubbed “Jezebel” by its owner, President Donald Trump, was undergoing final preparations Wednesday to take its occupant into the farthest reaches of the known universe. “In my first 47 days as president, I have improved the United States beyond measure, as well […]

Trump Agrees With Coachman: Kids Don’t Need Their Parents!

Trump Agrees With Coachman: Kids Don’t Need Their Parents!

  WASHINGTON DC – In a bold departure from millennia of human experience, President Donald Trump decided this week that kids are better off being separated from their parents. Breaking with a long-standing policy of the United States Immigration Services, which established that children who cross the border with their parents should stay with their […]

Government To Harness Power Of Snapchat To Rebuild Infrastructure

Government To Harness Power Of Snapchat To Rebuild Infrastructure

  WASHINGTON DC – The US Government today declared the dawn of a dramatic public-private partnership under which they will harness the unlimited power of the social media platform Snapchat to completely rebuild the entire infrastructure of the country. House Republicans unveiled the plan at a weekly news conference in which they pointed to the […]

Ex-Presidents Not All That Into Presidents Day This Year

Ex-Presidents Not All That Into Presidents Day This Year

UNITED STATES – Make America The Best reached out to some of our past presidents to see how they were going to celebrate their special day, and found out that many of them were not planning to do much this year. “I guess I’ll probably just end up hanging out,” said George Washington. “If it […]


Trump Fires Entire White House Staff, Will Run Government Himself

Trump Fires Entire White House Staff, Will Run Government Himself

WASHINGTON DC – According to some late night tweets from the @POTUS account, President Donald Trump has dismissed the entire White House staff, stating that he will run the executive branch entirely by himself. The White House staff, comprising 1,800 full time employees who take care of everything from grooming the lawn to communications with […]

Air Force Jets Buzz Nordstroms In Dramatic Show Of Force

Air Force Jets Buzz Nordstroms In Dramatic Show Of Force

  NARAGONSETT, WA – In a dramatic show of military might, the United States Air Force conducted maneuvers near the Nordstroms in Naragonsett, Washington today, presumably in response to the department store dropping a line of clothing carried by Ivanka Trump, President Trump’s daughter. There were no signs of troop movements on the ground, suggesting […]