Ben Carson Not Thinking About Announcing New HUD Pyramid Grain Silos

Ben Carson Not Thinking About Announcing New HUD Pyramid Grain Silos

WASHINGTON DC – The Department of Housing and Urban Development announced Wednesday that Secretary Ben Carson is not mulling over using a portion of the Housing and Urban Development budget to construct grain silos in the form of giant stone pyramids on the edge of the nation’s capital. “No, he is not thinking about that […]

White House To Let Putin Come Over, But Trump Will Select Movie

White House To Let Putin Come Over, But Trump Will Select Movie

  WASHINGTON, DC – In a carefully negotiated deal hammered out in the wake of a successful meeting with the Russian President in Helsinki, the White House today announced that while it is OK for Russian President Vladimir Putin to come over, President Trump will most definitely get to pick the movie. The movie night […]

Animal Gun Ownership Up 40 Percent Following Las Vegas Shooting

Animal Gun Ownership Up 40 Percent Following Las Vegas Shooting

  UNITED STATES, EARTH – Fearing for their safety in the wake of the Las Vegas shootings, and amid concerns that their second amendment rights are under attack, animal gun ownership is up sharply in the US across large sections of the country, in some places as high as 50% over previous years. Mert Bolieau, […]

Amazon Announces Construction Of More Exclusive “New Hamptons”

Amazon Announces Construction Of More Exclusive “New Hamptons”

  THE HAMPTONS, NEW YORK – Responding to a growing need for luxury housing in The Hamptons area of Long Island for the workers in its new headquarters, Amazon has announced construction of approximately 250 square miles of new island that will begin where The Hamptons currently ends. Dubbed “New Hamptons,” the new land area […]

President Announces 2018 Plan To Increase Levels By +25.0 dB

President Announces 2018 Plan To Increase Levels By +25.0 dB

  WASHINGTON, DC – In a ceremony at his Mar-A-Lago Resort attended by many well-wishers, President-elect Donald Trump announced today his 2018 plan to increase his overall decibel level for the year by +25.0 dB.   Not Currently Loud Enough “The American people need to hear exactly what President Trump is saying, when he says […]

Scooby Doo Inadvertently Reveals Lair of Lizard People Ruling US

Scooby Doo Inadvertently Reveals Lair of Lizard People Ruling US

WASHINGTON DC – Lovable cartoon dog Scooby Doo this weekend inadvertently exposed to the world a race of lizard people that have been secretly running the United States government for decades, sources say. During recent  filming for an episode of his new reality TV show “Rangerous”, Scooby encountered a rabbit which he chased into a […]


1 12 13 14