Yearly Archives: 2023
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Founders Terrified Of 34 Year-Old Presidential Candidate Agree It OK To Be Insurrectionist
In the dimly lit chamber where they gathered to sign the US Constitution, a collective sigh of relief echoed among the founding fathers on...
Local Man Who Lived With Secret Family For 6 Months Discovers Original Family Didn’t Realize He Was Gone
Local man Jonathan Windsor of East Peoria, Illinois, had been quietly leading a double life for several years after he met and later fathered...
Trump Emerges As Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Take On US
Faced with the difficult task of separating himself from Democratic nominee Joe Biden, Former President Trump got some good news this week from political...
Pleasing Out Of Focus Christmas Lights Outside Window Actually Oncoming Runaway Train
Relaxing with a cappuccino during the busy holiday season at your nearby coffee shop usually brings a moment of calm to an otherwise chaotic...
Friend Quits Job To Painstakingly Hand-Letter 1,200 Christmas Cards With Quill Pen
BARLOW, DELAWARE -
In what you fear might be a case of a person taking Christmas crafting a bit too far, your friend today turned...
Strategically Placed Pine Cone In Walnut Dish 20% Funnier This Holiday Season
WILSHIRE, VERMONT -
A time-honored Christmas prank played repeatedly over the years by the Jensen boys of Wilshire, Vermont, surprised a few of them this...
CEO Asks Board To Clarify How He Can Be Paid So Much Friggin’ Money
NEW YORK -
In an effort to gather more information from his company's board of directors regarding his compensation, a CEO this week sent a...
Reindeer Glad To Escape Existential Hell Of Being Packed In A Box For A Year
DOOLEY, IN -
For 338 days a year, a stuffed reindeer named Gustav sits quietly in a box staring at a point of light...
Kool-Aid Salesman Says Country’s Only Problem Is Not Drinking Enough Kool-Aid
You can never have too much of a good thing.
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Local Man Uses AI To Determine Which Shoe Goes On Left Foot
"AI - show me picture of right hand glove."
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Yale Graduate Announces He Forgot Erything He Lrn At Yale
Governors - they're just like us!
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Florida School Principal Fired After Math Teacher Writes 69 On Chalkboard
Really there should have been a trigger warning.
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Couple Adopts Incessantly Barking Emotional Sabotage Dog
Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease.
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