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Sunday, July 14, 2024

Strategically Placed Pine Cone In Walnut Dish 20% Funnier This Holiday Season


A time-honored Christmas prank played repeatedly over the years by the Jensen boys of Wilshire, Vermont, surprised a few of them this week when a carefully placed pine cone in a walnut bowl proved to be 20% funnier than last year’s version.

The informal study, conducted in the living room as adults ate from the bowl without noticing the phallic cone and adjacent nuts, yielded more overall enjoyment, and scored favorably on several benchmarks including “old people being clueless”, “embarrassing uncle moments”, and the highly coveted “mom not understanding what’s so funny”.

As a result of the uptick in amusement scores across the board, plans are already underway to find a more anatomically correct pine cone for next year. And discussions about a snow sculpture incorporating a log in the front yard have been fast-tracked for early approval.


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