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Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Harrison Butker Offers To Speak At Holocaust Memorial Event

Sensing momentum after his recent successful speaking engagement at the commencement ceremonies for Benedictine University, Kansas City Chiefs Placekicker Harrison Butker on Thursday offered...

Cheetos Announces New AI Cheetos

Frito Lay, the snack manufacturer and subsidiary of PepsiCo, announced today that they are releasing a new twist on...

Marketing Manager Unaware AI Spending $1 Million Per Minute Running Company’s Ad On Pinterest

Marketing Manager Kevin Milzigren of local skin care products company Skintastics, was blissfully unaware Friday as he aimlessly scrolled...

Local Man Concerned Midjourney Girlfriend Seeing Other Subscribers

While scrubbing thru the latest images on a public discord server, local man Steve Grinscheld became concerned on Wednesday...

Report: I Selfie, Therefore I Am

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - An international conference of philosophers meeting in Geneva this week unanimously endorsed a paper presented by University...

College Student Relieved To Discover Social Security Will Almost Cover Student Loan Payments When She Retires

SANDUSKY, OH - In the bustling college town where she is working toward her bachelor’s degree in Psychology, local college student Sarah Miler was relieved to discover this week after some calculations that her social security...

CIA Evacuates Al Pacino To Remote Island After Receiving Coded Message ‘Maria The Oppenheimer’

In a surprising turn of events following the 2024 Academy Awards, the CIA reportedly evacuated legendary actor Al Pacino to a remote island in the South Pacific by helicopter following Pacino's mysterious on-air...

Disney+ Announces New 14-Episode Series Focused On Origin Story Of Baby Greedo

HOLLYWOOD - In a bid to recapture the popularity of baby Yoda from the prequel series "The Mandalorian," Disney+ announced Tuesday it is moving into production of a 14-episode series centered around the origin...

Disembodied Voice Coming From Sky Warns Man Of Possible Side Effects

ELWAY, ID - During an otherwise uneventful stroll thru downtown Elway, Idaho, local man Ethan Nelliger became concerned Tuesday by a mysterious voice emanating from the sky, delivering a warning...

49ers Miss Flight Home After Being Surprised By TSA Security Rules At Airport

LAS VEGAS - The San Francisco 49ers encountered an unexpected setback on their journey home Monday after being completely taken aback by the series of...

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Mom’s New Years Resolution To Find Out More About The Rizzler

With the goal of starting off the new year with an interesting side project, local mom Ruth Bridnap made a resolution to do some more internet research on who exactly the Rizzler was. An...

Punching People At Awards Shows Added To List Of Things Celebrities Allowed To Do

  They just let you do it.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

King Kong Godzilla Beef Been Building For Years Say Producers

  Starting with a misunderstanding over a banana truck years ago while filming the 1962 movie "King Kong vs Godzilla", and escalating thru the years during assorted press interviews and perceived slights, a beef...

Trump Emerges As Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Take On US

Faced with the difficult task of separating himself from...

Pleasing Out Of Focus Christmas Lights Outside Window Actually Oncoming Runaway Train

Relaxing with a cappuccino during the busy holiday season...

BREAKING NEWS

FAA Assured By Boeing Missing Wing Was No Big Deal

  Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured...

Friend Quits Job To Painstakingly Hand-Letter 1,200 Christmas Cards With Quill Pen

BARLOW, DELAWARE -  In what you fear might be a case of...

Strategically Placed Pine Cone In Walnut Dish 20% Funnier This Holiday Season

  WILSHIRE, VERMONT - A time-honored Christmas prank played repeatedly over the years...

CEO Asks Board To Clarify How He Can Be Paid So Much Friggin’ Money

NEW YORK - In an effort to gather more information from his...

Reindeer Glad To Escape Existential Hell Of Being Packed In A Box For A Year

  DOOLEY, IN - For 338 days a year, a stuffed reindeer...