Egghead Scientists Need To Pick Up Pace, Demands Functional Idiots
“Chop Chop, Marcus Welby! We ain’t got all day!”…
US Confident Free-For-All Approach Best Way To Beat Virus
It could happen. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for…
Job Creator At Vacation Home Assures Workers Safe To Return To Work
We’re all in this together. Just not in the…
President Orders Hamburger Factories To Stay Open
Hail to the cheeseburder. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source…
CDC Audit Finds Employees Failed To Clean Fryer Entire Month Of February
To be fair, they were not even on the…
Report: Corporation Here For You During This Challenging Fiscal Quarter
Recognizing the nation is encountering tremendous challenges in the face…
Senate Republicans Consider Tracking Smart Phones Of Democrats To Prevent Virus
Together we can defeat this threat. makeamericathebest.com Your…
CDC Releases Thousands Of Newly Purchased Virus Testing Kits
Comes with a free box of steaks. makeamericathebest.com…
Antarctica Closes Borders, Fires Warning Shot Across Bow Of Cruise Ship
“Come back and see us next Leap Day!” …
Astronomer Apologizes For Leaving Cherry Lifesaver On Telescope Lens
SANTIAGO, CHILE – A little known astronomer working at…
Mars Rover Finds Newspaper Warning Of Dire Effects Of Climate Change
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – Scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion…
Jesus Returns To Earth, Finally Avenges Himself On The Onion
THE EARTH – Vowing to mete out punishment to those…
Triumphant Americans Flock To Malls, Contract Disease
Live free and/or die. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.…
Deranged Man Attempts Suicide By Virus, Rushes Hospital Without Mask
Aloha Ackbar. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.…
White House Reassures Country There Plenty Of Masks For White House
See? Nothing to worry about. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.…
Guitar Center To Provide Essential Wah-Wah Services To First Responders
It’s not a solo unless there’s wah-wah. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.…
Graphic Designers Race To Find Cure For New CoronaPapyrus
Just tell us how much time we’ve got. …
Researchers Closing In On Link Between Coronavirus And Gritty
“Just tell us how much time have we got?”…
