Make America The Best

Crazy People Demanding To See President Glad NRA Protecting Their Rights

WASHINGTON DC – As the nation grieves the shooting deaths of four people in a Nashville restaurant by an assailant…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 25, 2018Comments Off on Crazy People Demanding To See President Glad NRA Protecting Their Rights

News Break: Trump Missiles Slime Ball Porn Star Great Again

WASHINGTON DC – In news out of Washington this week, President Trump missiles slime ball porn star Mexicans, Putin skyscraper prostitutes…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 15, 2018Comments Off on News Break: Trump Missiles Slime Ball Porn Star Great Again

President Dismisses HR McMaster, Hires HR PufnStuf to Oversee National Security

THE PENTAGON – After a tumultuous year working with General HR McMaster as National Security Advisor, President Trump announced he…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 23, 2018Comments Off on President Dismisses HR McMaster, Hires HR PufnStuf to Oversee National Security

White House Lawyers Declare Ban On Israelis Is Legal, Alt Right Rejoices

WASHINGTON DC – Saying they always knew the president…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 27, 2018Comments Off on White House Lawyers Declare Ban On Israelis Is Legal, Alt Right Rejoices

Trump Vows To Punish Canada Until China Comes To Its Senses

WASHINGTON DC – President Donald Trump demonstrated his resolute…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 6, 2018Comments Off on Trump Vows To Punish Canada Until China Comes To Its Senses

Nation Desperate For Voice Of Moral Authority Turns To NBA Franchise

UNITED STATES – Beset by increasing monthly streaming subscription prices, stolen personal data, school-to-prison pipelines, runaway health care costs, and the endemic gerrymandering of its electoral power, the…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 30, 2018Comments Off on Nation Desperate For Voice Of Moral Authority Turns To NBA Franchise

Olympians Trash Olympic Village In Epic Kegger, Lose Damage Deposit

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA – Olympians celebrating the end of the 2018 Winter Games had a little bit of a ceremony hangover after their final night in Pyeongchang.…

By Bureau Correspondent on February 25, 2018Comments Off on Olympians Trash Olympic Village In Epic Kegger, Lose Damage Deposit

Carson Warns Mueller Not To Cross Red Line Around Home Entertainment Center Purchase

WASHINGTON, DC – Already under fire for telling…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 21, 2018

Fears On The Right Justified As Cultural Marxists Infiltrate Government

WASHINGTON DC – Although he was fired from…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 16, 2018

Nation’s Underperforming Schools To Be Converted Into Amway Distributorships

WASHINGTON DC – In a move designed to…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 13, 2018

Bone Spur Attack Forces President To Abandon Gun Legislation

WASHINGTON DC – In an unfortunate case of a…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 13, 2018

Clairvoyant Lion Wishes He Could Forget Vision Of You ‘Floggin The Dolphin’

SAN DIEGO, CA – A twelve-year-old lion that…

By Bureau Correspondent on January 27, 2018

Senators Tom Cotton And David Perdue Enter Pi Memorization Contest

WASHINGTON DC – Two US Senators declared themselves…

By Bureau Correspondent on January 14, 2018

White House Announces Cigarettes Are Good For You

WASHINGTON, DC – Chafing under years of scientific…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 23, 2017

President Announces Plan To Send Tiny Astronauts To The Moon

WASHINGTON DC – Saying he has long been searching…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 12, 2017

President Officially Recognizes Jerusalem As Capital Of Iraq

WASHINGTON DC – In an announcement that caused…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 7, 2017

Flat Earth Society To Battle Fake Moon Landers In Fight To The Death

THUNDERDOME – In a final showdown to determine…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 6, 2017

Kim Jong-Un Vows To Destroy Pontiac Silverdome In Show Of Strength

PYONGYANG, DPRK – A sturdy old stadium that…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 4, 2017

Sean Spicer Reaches Planet Glorton, Informs Glurb: Mission Accomplished

PLANET GLORTON, ANDROMEDA GALAXY – After a long…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 1, 2017

Co-Worker Steve Institutes Casual Fridays Now That Boss Has Been Murdered

MENLO PARK, CA – Outlining a bright future…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 22, 2018

Don Corleone “Greatly Displeased” With FBI Seizure Of Cohen Files

LITTLE ITALY, NY – Saying he was “most…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 12, 2018

Neighborhood Perv With Drone Alerts You To Dangerous Creosote Buildup In Your Chimney

TRAVIS, NH – A local ‘peeping tom’, with…

By Bureau Correspondent on March 21, 2018

Russian Bots Announce New Fragrance Line, Gets 1.3 Million Likes

VOLGOGRAD, RUSSIA – An army of Russian Bots, responsible for wreaking havoc on elections and fomenting discord around the globe, has announced a…

By Bureau Correspondent on February 20, 2018Comments Off on Russian Bots Announce New Fragrance Line, Gets 1.3 Million Likes

Chevrolet Decides To Pull Mahatma Gandhi Commercial For Silverado

NEW YORK, NY – In the wake of controversy over a Superbowl ad for Dodge trucks that used a Martin Luther King Jr.…

By Bureau Correspondent on February 6, 2018Comments Off on Chevrolet Decides To Pull Mahatma Gandhi Commercial For Silverado

Sesame Street Launches New Bertcoin Exchange

SESAME STREET, NY – With an eye toward introducing the concept of cryptocurrency to young viewers, and possibly creating a new global monetary vehicle…

By Bureau Correspondent on December 24, 2017Comments Off on Sesame Street Launches New Bertcoin Exchange

Deactivating DON 9000

Make America The Best celebrates the 50th anniversary of the release of Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece, “2001: A Space Odyssey” with this re-imagining of the climactic scene featuring a…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 3, 2018Comments Off on Deactivating DON 9000

Playboy Assured LeeAnn Tweeden Camera’s “Anti-Nudity” Setting Was On

LOS ANGELES, CA – In another twist in the LeeAnn Tweeden saga, it was revealed Tuesday that…

By Bureau Correspondent on November 18, 2017

Letters From Our Readers

See what our readers have to say to Make America The Best…

By Patrick Riot on December 11, 2016

Congress Identifies 37 Year Old Nerd As Source Of All Nation’s Problems

WASHINGTON, DC – In a bit of sleuthing that would would have made Sherlock Holmes proud, the…

By Bureau Correspondent on April 12, 2018