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Sunday, July 14, 2024

Americans Looking Forward To Selecting Next Leader Based On Who Has The Most Ad Money

As the 2024 presidential election approaches, Americans are increasingly looking forward to the next round of voting for whichever candidate can raise the highest...

Cheetos Announces New AI Cheetos

Frito Lay, the snack manufacturer and subsidiary of PepsiCo, announced today that they are releasing a new twist on...

Red Lobster Announces New All-You-Buy Restaurant Equipment Auction

Following on the heels of their recent "all-you-can-eat" shrimp promotion, Red Lobster has announced an unprecedented "all-you-can-buy" restaurant equipment...

Local Man Resigned To Paying Wellness Fee Added To Price Of New Car

Local resident Wesley Dimsel was thrilled to find the new car of his dreams at a local dealership. However,...

Local Man Concerned Midjourney Girlfriend Seeing Other Subscribers

While scrubbing thru the latest images on a public discord server, local man Steve Grinscheld became concerned on Wednesday...

Marketing Manager Unaware AI Spending $1 Million Per Minute Running Company’s Ad On Pinterest

Marketing Manager Kevin Milzigren of local skin care products company Skintastics, was blissfully unaware Friday as he aimlessly scrolled thru vacation options in Mexico that he had inadvertently authorized an AI algorithm to spend $1...

Local Man Charged $47.32 In Fees To Sit On Jury Of Ticketmaster Antitrust Case

Local man John Stenens, a resident of Los Angeles, was surprised recently to find out that he was being charged $47.32 in fees for his participation as a juror in the high-profile antitrust...

CIA Evacuates Al Pacino To Remote Island After Receiving Coded Message ‘Maria The Oppenheimer’

In a surprising turn of events following the 2024 Academy Awards, the CIA reportedly evacuated legendary actor Al Pacino to a remote island in the South Pacific by helicopter following Pacino's mysterious on-air...

Disembodied Voice Coming From Sky Warns Man Of Possible Side Effects

ELWAY, ID - During an otherwise uneventful stroll thru downtown Elway, Idaho, local man Ethan Nelliger became concerned Tuesday by a mysterious voice emanating from the sky, delivering a warning...

Harrison Butker Offers To Speak At Holocaust Memorial Event

Sensing momentum after his recent successful speaking engagement at the commencement ceremonies for Benedictine University, Kansas City Chiefs Placekicker Harrison Butker on Thursday offered...

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Report: I Selfie, Therefore I Am

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - An international conference of philosophers meeting in Geneva this week unanimously endorsed a paper presented by University of Lyon Professor Edwin Grunschveld stating that "Selfito, ergo sum", (Latin: “I Selfie, therefore...

Disney+ Announces New 14-Episode Series Focused On Origin Story Of Baby Greedo

HOLLYWOOD - In a bid to recapture the popularity of baby Yoda from the prequel series "The Mandalorian," Disney+ announced Tuesday it is moving into production of a 14-episode series centered around the origin...

Punching People At Awards Shows Added To List Of Things Celebrities Allowed To Do

  They just let you do it.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

FAA Assured By Boeing Missing Wing Was No Big Deal

  Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing...

Mom’s New Years Resolution To Find Out More About The Rizzler

With the goal of starting off the new year...

BREAKING NEWS

Frozen Iowa Caucus-Goer’s Dying Wish To Own Libs

ORANGE CITY, IA - In the small town of Orange City, where...

Local Man Who Lived With Secret Family For 6 Months Discovers Original Family Didn’t Realize He Was Gone

Local man Jonathan Windsor of East Peoria, Illinois, had been quietly...

Trump Emerges As Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Take On US

Faced with the difficult task of separating himself from Democratic nominee...

Pleasing Out Of Focus Christmas Lights Outside Window Actually Oncoming Runaway Train

Relaxing with a cappuccino during the busy holiday season at your...

Friend Quits Job To Painstakingly Hand-Letter 1,200 Christmas Cards With Quill Pen

BARLOW, DELAWARE -  In what you fear might be a case of...