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Thursday, February 22, 2024

Navlany Dead From Natural Causes Of Being Shot In Head And Pushed Out 5th Story Window Says Kremlin

MOSCOW - Officials in Moscow released the results of the investigation into the death of Alexei Navalny on Friday, which revealed the Russian activist...

Former President Says He Wasn’t An Officer Since He Was Rarely In The Office

JUPITER, FL - Addressing controversy surrounding his time as president of the United States, former President Donald Trump asserted in...

College Student Relieved To Discover Social Security Will Almost Cover Student Loan Payments When She Retires

SANDUSKY, OH - In the bustling college town where she is working toward her bachelor’s degree in Psychology, local college...

Report: I Selfie, Therefore I Am

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - An international conference of philosophers meeting in Geneva this week unanimously endorsed a paper presented by University...

Mom’s New Years Resolution To Find Out More About The Rizzler

With the goal of starting off the new year with an interesting side project, local mom Ruth Bridnap made...

FAA Assured By Boeing Missing Wing Was No Big Deal

  Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured authorities at the Federal Aviation Administration last June that an early design of the 737 Max airliner with one wing was completely safe, according...

Punching People At Awards Shows Added To List Of Things Celebrities Allowed To Do

  They just let you do it.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

King Kong Godzilla Beef Been Building For Years Say Producers

  Starting with a misunderstanding over a banana truck years ago while filming the 1962 movie "King Kong vs Godzilla", and escalating thru the years during assorted press interviews and perceived slights, a beef...

Disembodied Voice Coming From Sky Warns Man Of Possible Side Effects

ELWAY, ID - During an otherwise uneventful stroll thru downtown Elway, Idaho, local man Ethan Nelliger became concerned Tuesday by a mysterious voice emanating from the sky, delivering a warning...

49ers Miss Flight Home After Being Surprised By TSA Security Rules At Airport

LAS VEGAS - The San Francisco 49ers encountered an unexpected setback on their journey home Monday after being completely taken aback by the series of...

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Local Man Who Lived With Secret Family For 6 Months Discovers Original Family Didn’t Realize He Was Gone

Local man Jonathan Windsor of East Peoria, Illinois, had been quietly leading a double life for several years after he met and later fathered two children with a woman in nearby Elmwood unbeknownst...

Botched Restoration Of Priceless 1961 Charlie Brown Draws Outrage

  What could they possibly have been thinking?   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

NY Food Critic Savages Local Hospital Cafeteria, Awards It Zero Stars

Declaring that a deadly coronavirus outbreak is no excuse for flavorless eggs and pasty half-cooked bacon, well-known food critic Walter Paerce released a stinging three-page diatribe this week, excoriating the cafeteria of St....

Local Man Uses AI To Determine Which Shoe Goes On Left Foot

"AI - show me picture of right hand glove." makeamericathebest.com Your...

Yale Graduate Announces He Forgot Erything He Lrn At Yale

Governors - they're just like us! makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for...

BREAKING NEWS

Reindeer Glad To Escape Existential Hell Of Being Packed In A Box For A Year

  DOOLEY, IN - For 338 days a year, a stuffed reindeer...

Florida School Principal Fired After Math Teacher Writes 69 On Chalkboard

Really there should have been a trigger warning. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for...

Couple Adopts Incessantly Barking Emotional Sabotage Dog

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for...

80 Year Old Generation Of Lawmakers Makes Way For New 90 Year Old Generation To Take Over

People love a good franchise. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

House Announces Investigation Into Woke Easter Bunny

Those multi-colored eggs are no accident. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.