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Sunday, July 14, 2024

FAA Assured By Boeing Missing Wing Was No Big Deal


Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured authorities at the Federal Aviation Administration last June that an early design of the 737 Max airliner with one wing was completely safe, according to an ongoing investigation.

“At first, we were alarmed that the airplane had just an engine on one side and no wing,” said a high-ranking member of the FAA responsible for overseeing the plane’s approval in the US. “However, Boeing representatives assured us that the plane was extremely safe even with one wing, and that in fact, it could fly with no wings at all in the event that the remaining wing fell off in flight. Which they also assured us, was very unlikely to happen.”

The agency, which has come under fire for relying on Boeing to certify its own aircraft’s safety, said the company had promised new software patches would compensate for the missing wing. “The plane was undergoing an extensive upgrade to Windows 10, which added support for many devices, including cross-platform multi-player mode on the Xbox One.”

“The highly technical jargon used by company representatives, in conjunction with the extensive use of Power Point and touch screens in their presentation, gave us a high degree of confidence that the planes would be safe,” said an FAA spokesperson.

Although the 737 Max remains grounded pending investigation into two crashes, analysts were predicting improved performance of the company stock based on the upcoming release of the new Boeing 737 Android App.

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