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Tuesday, March 19, 2024

World

Navlany Dead From Natural Causes Of Being Shot In Head And Pushed Out 5th Story Window Says Kremlin

MOSCOW - Officials in Moscow released the results of the investigation into the death of Alexei Navalny on Friday, which revealed the Russian activist...

Kool-Aid Salesman Says Country’s Only Problem Is Not Drinking Enough Kool-Aid

You can never have too much of a good thing. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Man Who Cried Nuclear War Certain Villagers Will Save Him When Nuclear War Starts

  Surely they will come to my aid when I'm in trouble.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Hitler Misses Poland, Accidentally Invades Ukraine

  If at first you don't succeed, try genocide again.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

China And Russia Announce Axis Of Undecipherable Alphabets

  We will л馬ав马фи́т you.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Battle Against Coronavirus Reminds President Of Time He Invaded Normandy Beach

  WASHINGTON DC - While critics have questioned the president's grasp of the seriousness of the Coronavirus pandemic, President Trump today put to rest any doubt...

Antarctica Closes Borders During Pandemic, Fires Warning Shot Across Bow Of Cruise Ship

  "Come back and see us next Leap Day!"   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News

Only Copy Of Evil Plans Destroyed In Missile Attack

  The United States breathed a sigh of relief Tuesday at it became apparent that the only copy of an Iranian general's evil plan to...

Kid Playing With Matches Given More Matches

  Providing badly needed jobs for fire fighters everywhere.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News

Republicans Reveal Cold War Was Just Big Misunderstanding

  UNITED STATES - Although the period after World War II beginning with the Truman doctrine of 1947 and ending with the fall of the Berlin...

Study Finds 95% Of Cats Are Better Read Than Their Owners

  DEPAW UNIVERSITY - Using advanced imaging techniques applied to billions of cat photos and videos on the internet, researchers at Depaw University this week made...

Jesus Returns To Earth, Finally Avenges Himself On The Onion

THE EARTH - Vowing to mete out punishment to those responsible for what he called "a pestilence for the ages," Jesus returned to the earth...

Grim Reaper Thinking Over This Whole Halloween Thing

EARTH - The Grim Reaper, aka the Angel of Death, usually takes time out from his busy schedule at this time of year to make...

Waffle Monster Emerges From The Sea, Will Do Battle With Your Weight Loss Plan

  NAGARIGI BEACH, JAPAN - A terrible roar came from the depths of a little-explored section of the Sea of Japan this morning, as Waffle Monster...

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