US Launches Penelope Cruz Missile – North Korea Smitten

US Launches Penelope Cruz Missile – North Korea Smitten

  PACIFIC OCEAN – Unveiling a secret weapon that has been in development for several years, the US military launched a Penelope Cruz missile from a Trident Submarine toward North Korea, badly enamoring the nation with the beautiful model and actress. Kim Jong-Un, who was smitten in the attack, vowed to press on with his […]

Lego Offensive Begins In Earnest Against Mega Bloks

Lego Offensive Begins In Earnest Against Mega Bloks

UNDISCLOSED DESERT LOCATION – Lego forces launched a long-anticipated offensive Tuesday to drive Mega Bloks from its heavily defended global headquarters in the deserts outside of Quebec City, Canada, in the most decisive battle in the three-year war against the children’s toy company, and one that could draw more Lego forces into the fight. Lt. […]

MONTENEGRO RESPONDS TO TRUMP INSULT: DECLARES WAR ON U.S.

MONTENEGRO RESPONDS TO TRUMP INSULT: DECLARES WAR ON U.S.

MONTENEGRO – In a dramatic response to an affront to its Prime Minister, Dusko Markovic, by the US President Donald Trump, the tiny country of Montenegro today announced they were declaring war on the United States of America. “To avenge our Prime Minister, the sovereign state of Montenegro, and the great history of our proud […]

Trump Invites President Duterte To Shoot Drug Users On 5th Avenue

Trump Invites President Duterte To Shoot Drug Users On 5th Avenue

  NEW YORK, NY – After inviting the President of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, to the White House this week, President Trump further extended his gesture of friendship by suggesting some much needed recreational time shooting suspected drug users on 5th Avenue in Manhattan. The President, who famously said he could stand on 5th Avenue […]

Jesus Christ Returns to Earth, Turns Around And Leaves

Jesus Christ Returns to Earth, Turns Around And Leaves

CASPER, WY – Witnesses on a hilltop near Casper, Wyoming, saw an amazing sight this past weekend when Jesus Christ, Redeemer of Man, Son of God, and Savior of The World, came back to earth before abruptly making a U-turn and returning back up into the heavens. Sarah Trannon was sitting on a blanket on […]

President Trump Inaugurated, Ushers In Golden Age Of Satire

President Trump Inaugurated, Ushers In Golden Age Of Satire

WASHINGTON, DC – Donald Trump took the oath of office for President of the United States on Friday, ushering in what poets, playwrights, novelists and scholars down thru the ages agree will be human civilization’s golden age of satire. Reached at his tomb in Athens, Aristophanes, author of the greatest satirical plays of ancient Greece, […]

Greek Gods Relinquish Mount Olympus to Trump Cabinet

Greek Gods Relinquish Mount Olympus to Trump Cabinet

MOUNT OLYMPUS, GREECE – Saying that they had no wish to battle such a formidable foe, the all-powerful Gods of Ancient Greece have decreed that they will forever relinquish their mountain top fortress to the incoming cabinet members of the new Trump administration. From their perch on Mount Olympus, the Gods have watched over mankind […]

Garbage Asteroid Discovered By Chile Observatory Hurtling Toward Earth

Garbage Asteroid Discovered By Chile Observatory Hurtling Toward Earth

SANTIAGO, CHILE – Astronomers at the Santa Lago Observatory in Chile this month have discovered a large near-earth asteroid making its way toward earth that appears to be composed entirely of garbage. The Minor Planet Center at the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory was not available for comment, but the graduate student who made the discovery, Pablo […]