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Sunday, April 21, 2024

Book Club Decides It’s Actually A Wine Club, Ditches Books Altogether


After a year of dutifully meeting each month to discuss the latest New York Times best seller, a local book club on Wednesday made the realization that they are a lot more interested in drinking wine than reading, as evidenced by the multiple bottles they were consuming each night. So in an 11 to 0 vote, they decided to drop books altogether and now just go straight to drinking.

Don’t Really Like Each Other

“Honestly, we were really getting bogged down by the whole book thing,” said Denita Brittson. “I like to read, so I thought it would be fun to be in this group. But everyone was so obnoxious. Frank is super libertarian and is always twisting the book’s message to his point of view. Nancy just wants to talk about boys. And Calisha is always trying to make you feel like you don’t get what the book is about.”

“Then one night as we were polishing off our 5th bottle of Shiraz, we were trying to figure out who started the whole book idea. And it turns out it was someone who wasn’t even coming to the group any more,” said Ms. Brittson.

“Then Calisha said ‘well, why don’t we skip the books and just drink,’ and everyone laughed and then after a pause, Tom said, ‘I’d be down with that.”

A Revelation

“It turns out we were just there to drink,” said Frank Meemiter, who had joined the group in 2007. “It was really liberating to get that out on the table. And also how much we disliked hearing what each other had to say.”

‘Yeah, if I had to listen to Nancy say ‘I think what the author was trying to say’ one more time, I was going to blow my brains out,” said Ms. Brittson.

No More Blah Blah Blah, Just Delicious Wine

Tim Kernson, who had joined the group in 2007, was glad they won’t need to discuss the books any more. “As far as I’m concerned, reading is kind of a chore, and talking about reading is even worse,” he said. “I’d much rather have someone ask me what I thought of that last glass of Chardonnay, than some author who was boring me to tears.”

“Also, we have more time now to talk about what’s going on in our lives. Like when Jocelyn got a DUI last week after leaving wine club. Most of us have been thru that and had some great tips for her.”

More Time To Do Other Things

So far the decision seems to be a good one. When the group gathers, they usually head straight for the dining room where they stand around drinking glasses of wine in silence from the bottles that are on the table.

“We have little cards next to each bottle telling you where it came from and the vintage, but nobody reads them. We just pour,” said Mr. Kernson.

“I guess when you get right down to it, none of us are really big readers,” he said. “But boy, we can sure drink a glass of wine.”

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