President Trump Renames National Anthem ‘United States of America Song’

President Trump Renames National Anthem ‘United States of America Song’

  WASHINGTON DC – On the heels of successfully re-titling the “North American Free Trade Agreement” as the “United States-Mexico-Canada Agreement,” President Trump followed up by announcing a new name for the country’s popular national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The anthem’s new title, announced in a White House Rose Garden ceremony today, will be “The […]

Horrified Trump Fires Pompeo For “Freakishly Low Net Worth”

Horrified Trump Fires Pompeo For “Freakishly Low Net Worth”

  WASHINGTON DC – A disturbed President Trump was forced to fire his Secretary of State this week when aids confessed that not only is the former Congressman not a billionaire, his net worth was likely less than 400,000 dollars. “What kind of person has so little money?” the president asked his cabinet, which has […]

Russian Bots Announce New Fragrance Line, Gets 1.3 Million Likes

Russian Bots Announce New Fragrance Line, Gets 1.3 Million Likes

  VOLGOGRAD, RUSSIA – An army of Russian Bots, responsible for wreaking havoc on elections and fomenting discord around the globe, has announced a new fragrance line this week for men and women. The new scent, called Smelnik, immediately garnered 1.3 million likes on Twitter and Facebook upon its announcement, and was trending heavily across […]

Sesame Street Launches New Bertcoin Exchange

Sesame Street Launches New Bertcoin Exchange

SESAME STREET, NY – With an eye toward introducing the concept of cryptocurrency to young viewers, and possibly creating a new global monetary vehicle for the storage of wealth, Sesame Street today announced the creation of Bertcoin, a new digital currency. Like many companies that have watched bitcoin and other internet currencies take off, Sesame […]


Dow Jones Industrial Average Rebrands As “Dow Jones Elite”

Dow Jones Industrial Average Rebrands As “Dow Jones Elite”

  WALL STREET – In an effort to better tailor its brand image to a more upscale clientele who have the resources to purchase its stocks, the Dow Jones Industrial Average today announced a rebranding initiative and name change to “Dow Jones Elite”.   “A Stock Metric For The Discerning Buyer” “We’ve found that many […]

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