The United States breathed a sigh of relief Tuesday at it became apparent that the only copy of an Iranian general’s evil plan to harm Americans was destroyed when the US military fired a missile at his car last week.
“Luckily, the only set of evil plans was in that car, and our sources tell us that there were no copies made, so Iran will not be able to carry out whatever was written on that document,” said Four Star General Thomas Quisenberk. “The general had the only set.”
Military analyst Marsha Crosbean, who has studied Iran’s evil plans for years, said it was not unusual for there to be only one set of plans written down on paper by hand without the aid of computers, and no other copies made.
“Obviously, for security reasons, it’s important that the person carrying the plans be the only one with the information to keep it from falling into the wrong hands,” she said. “If the evil plans were stored in say, a computer file for easy printing or sharing with others, then you could have multiple sets of evil plans which would be totally confusing.”
“Of course, the down side of having just the one copy,” she continued, “is that if something happens to it, then you have to scrap the whole thing.”
While it’s possible that Iran could begin drawing up a new set of plans, sources say that it would take several months to come up with a new idea, so they were likely to just forget about it altogether. “It’s a lot of work to draw them up,” said General Quisenberk. “So, we’re pretty sure we’ll be safe now. Lucky for us there was just that one copy.”
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