Ohio State University To Oversee Investigation Into Trump Administration

Ohio State University To Oversee Investigation Into Trump Administration

  In a surprise announcement today, Department of Justice officials declared that Ohio State University has been picked to oversee any further investigations of President Donald Trump, his family, and business interests according to a source who requested anonymity. The university, recently under fire for allowing a sports doctor to allegedly molest athletes unimpeded for […]

White Supremacist Shooter Boosts Taliban Approval Ratings By .01%

White Supremacist Shooter Boosts Taliban Approval Ratings By .01%

  CHRISTCHURCH, NZ – According to a new poll released today by the public opinion-tracking company The Phalen Group, an Australian white supremacist shooter significantly boosted approval ratings for the Afghanistan Muslim group most closely associated with the attack on 911 by an impressive .01 percent. The shooter, who committed horrific crimes against defenseless people […]

Trump Orders White House Security Clearance Granted For Vladimir Putin

Trump Orders White House Security Clearance Granted For Vladimir Putin

  WASHINGTON DC – Bucking the long tradition of former presidents refusing to give sensitive intelligence to the leaders of adversarial nations, President Trump this week ordered Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney to grant Russian President Vladimir Putin the highest security clearance available from the US government. The clearance, which allows the former KGB officer […]

White House Report: Fear Of Poverty Will Keep You Healthy

White House Report: Fear Of Poverty Will Keep You Healthy

  WASHINGTON DC – The White House released some positive news Tuesday to reassure the 24 million Americans who may lose their health insurance under the Republican-led lawsuit to invalidate the Affordable Care Act. “It’s understandable that Americans losing their insurance under our plan will be concerned about what will happen to them. This is […]


Mueller Releases 274 Page Diatribe Against Jaywalking

Mueller Releases 274 Page Diatribe Against Jaywalking

  WASHINGTON, DC – Saying he was only just getting started, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller today released the first in what will be a 373-volume set of leather-bound books detailing the deplorable state of American culture, as embodied by its flagrant disregard for the rule of law. The first volume, an impassioned 23-chapter manifesto calling […]

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