White House Recalls Special Envoy To Hindenburg Disaster

White House Recalls Special Envoy To Hindenburg Disaster

  After uncovering several missteps in a diplomatic mission on behalf of the White House this week, the Trump administration elected to recall its Special Envoy to the famous airship Hindenburg after it burst into flames in a fiery inferno and crashed in a smoldering heap in New Jersey. “While we cannot say for certain […]

Maniacally Cackling Spy Confesses, Says Will Win Re-Election Anyway

Maniacally Cackling Spy Confesses, Says Will Win Re-Election Anyway

  Consumed by spasms of hysterical laughter that bordered on insanity, a Russian spy today finally confessed to being an operative of a foreign government before declaring it didn’t matter who knew, because he was going to win reelection to the US Senate anyway. The revelation, which came amid repeated chortles and diabolical snickering, brought […]

President Clarifies He In Favor Of Background Chicks

President Clarifies He In Favor Of Background Chicks

  Clearing up a widely misunderstood statement following the tragic mass shootings in two American cities this week, President Trump told a gathering of reporters outside the Oval Office today that he is very much in favor of background chicks. “I want to set the record straight,” he told reporters. “I do not support any […]


White Supremacist Shooter Boosts Taliban Approval Ratings By .01%

White Supremacist Shooter Boosts Taliban Approval Ratings By .01%

  CHRISTCHURCH, NZ – According to a new poll released today by the public opinion-tracking company The Phalen Group, an Australian white supremacist shooter significantly boosted approval ratings for the Afghanistan Muslim group most closely associated with the attack on 911 by an impressive .01 percent. The shooter, who committed horrific crimes against defenseless people […]

Trump Orders White House Security Clearance Granted For Vladimir Putin

Trump Orders White House Security Clearance Granted For Vladimir Putin

  WASHINGTON DC – Bucking the long tradition of former presidents refusing to give sensitive intelligence to the leaders of adversarial nations, President Trump this week ordered Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney to grant Russian President Vladimir Putin the highest security clearance available from the US government. The clearance, which allows the former KGB officer […]

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