New Poll Reveals Rural Voters Unfazed By Impeachment Inquiry
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White House Recalls Special Envoy To Hindenburg Disaster
After uncovering several missteps in a diplomatic mission on behalf of the White House this week, the Trump administration elected to recall its Special Envoy to the famous airship Hindenburg after it burst into flames in a fiery inferno and crashed in a smoldering heap in New Jersey. “While we cannot say for certain […]
Maniacally Cackling Spy Confesses, Says Will Win Re-Election Anyway
Consumed by spasms of hysterical laughter that bordered on insanity, a Russian spy today finally confessed to being an operative of a foreign government before declaring it didn’t matter who knew, because he was going to win reelection to the US Senate anyway. The revelation, which came amid repeated chortles and diabolical snickering, brought […]
Texas Governor Relieved 2nd Amendment Unharmed During Multi-City Shooting Spree
An anxious Texas governor breathed a huge sigh of relief Sunday when told that the Second Amendment to the US Constitution was not among the 21 injured and 7 killed by a gunman wielding a military assault rifle while driving thru the western part of his state this weekend. “Whew, that’s really good news,” […]
Trump Emerges As Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Take On US
Faced with the difficult task of separating himself from a crowded field of contenders, President Trump got some good news this week from political analysts who said voters increasingly see him as the only candidate willing to take on and defeat the American people. “For too long, Americans have been taking advantage of our […]
President Clarifies He In Favor Of Background Chicks
Clearing up a widely misunderstood statement following the tragic mass shootings in two American cities this week, President Trump told a gathering of reporters outside the Oval Office today that he is very much in favor of background chicks. “I want to set the record straight,” he told reporters. “I do not support any […]
Attorney General Releases Special Mueller Report To White House
A special report, for very special people. makeamericathebest.comYour Trusted Source for Faux News.
Conspiracy Theorist Assures Public Nothing Suspicious About Mueller Report
After ridiculing people over several decades for being duped by official explanations, a local conspiracy theorist today announced there was absolutely nothing to question in a recent government report from the Special Counsel’s Office of the FBI. “Americans should take this report at face value, and not read anything into it,” said the man, […]
US Prepares Response To President On Behalf Of John McCain
Make sure you jiggle it to be sure it stops running. makeamericathebest.comYour Trusted Source for Faux News.
White Supremacist Shooter Boosts Taliban Approval Ratings By .01%
CHRISTCHURCH, NZ – According to a new poll released today by the public opinion-tracking company The Phalen Group, an Australian white supremacist shooter significantly boosted approval ratings for the Afghanistan Muslim group most closely associated with the attack on 911 by an impressive .01 percent. The shooter, who committed horrific crimes against defenseless people […]