Clarence Thomas Returns To Senate As White Man Named Brett

Clarence Thomas Returns To Senate As White Man Named Brett

  WASHINGTON DC – In an impromptu visit to the Judiciary Committee that recommended his confirmation 27 years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas stopped by the US Senate this week to reminisce with the legislative branch as a white guy with a side-part.   Crazy Times Although admittedly not as young as he used […]

President Trump Swears Unholy Vengeance Upon All Canadian Cows

President Trump Swears Unholy Vengeance Upon All Canadian Cows

  OTTAWA, CANADA – In a remarkable departure from presidential decorum, Donald Trump today unsettled the Washington establishment when he was overcome with a terrible fervor in the Lincoln bedroom, swearing to the heavens that he would visit all manner of evil upon the bovine population of the United State’s northernmost neighbor, or die in […]

President Revokes Security Clearance Of Macaulay Culkin

President Revokes Security Clearance Of Macaulay Culkin

  THE PENTAGON – Lashing out at what he saw as a threat to national security after being told of an unflattering comment about himself, President Donald Trump today revoked all security privileges for the Home Alone child star MacCauley Culkin, effective immediately. Although Mr. Culkin has no security privileges or access to government classified […]

Papa John’s Founder Accuses Colonel Sanders Of Bestiality

Papa John’s Founder Accuses Colonel Sanders Of Bestiality

  LOUISVILLE, KY – In a continuation of the turbulent events surrounding the founder of Papa John’s Pizza, John Schnatter, the ex-CEO today followed up his accusation that the beloved icon of the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise used the “N-word” with claims that Colonel Sanders had been seen sexually cavorting with animals.   “Using N-word […]


President Nominates Scumbag Steve For Supreme Court Justice

President Nominates Scumbag Steve For Supreme Court Justice

  WASHINGTON DC – In the wake of Justice Anthony Kennedy’s announced retirement from the US Supreme Court, President Trump moved swiftly today to nominate internet meme Scumbag Steve as the replacement for the 81-year old judge.   Met At A Key Party At Mar-A-Lago The president, a longtime fan of the erstwhile internet sensation, […]

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