In anticipation of a brutal 2020 election season, video game market analysts this week said voters across the nation have been pre-ordering millions of copies of the upcoming Mortal Kombat 11 in the hopes that they can toughen up before the Iowa straw poll next year. The 11th installment of the popular fighting video […]
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MILBROOK, IOWA – Though he’s committed to the struggle of the white race to rule the world, and hates all people of color wherever they may be, still white supremacist Gilton Crawley believes that there are some things a person should not say just out of common human decency. “I used to use the […]
THE WHITE HOUSE – After consulting with top level members of his cabinet, and seeing no other alternative out of a dire situation, the president today ended the 3 week old government shutdown in hopes of averting a nationwide cheeseburger shortage. The shortage of cheeseburgers, a result of the furloughing of FDA administrators involved […]
NEW YORK, NY – Getting a head start on the 2020 presidential election season, and staking out what they hope will be another winning slogan, the president’s political strategists this week released a new theme line to serve as a catalyst for the 2020 campaign: Make America Great Again Again. “While policy position statements and […]
GOTHAM – As part of his evil plan to overrun the city’s law enforcement with an army of villains to do his bidding, the Joker announced this week that he will release thousands of criminals into the city to prey upon the unsuspecting citizens of Gotham. “For too long,” said the recently reformed miscreant […]
ATLANTA, GA – After making the alarming announcement that Georgia’s voting system had been hacked on the eve of the midterm elections, Secretary of State Brian Kemp announced this morning that there was no such problem, and that the whole thing was just a crazy joke to rile people up. “I really have to […]
WASHINGTON DC – Within hours of the brutal slaying of 11 Jewish people in house of worship in Pittsburgh, President Trump left no stone unturned as he forcefully assailed the Manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers for pulling pitcher Rich Hill in favor of a reliever in the seventh inning of game four of […]
WASHINGTON DC – In a harshly worded statement that left no room for interpretation, leaders of the democratic party today demanded in no uncertain terms that President Trump must not, under any circumstances, attempt to juggle chainsaws. And further, that if he does, he must never do so while wearing a blindfold. Redline […]
WASHINGTON DC – Making a frantic call from the shower stall of his 2nd floor bathroom this morning, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell called for Senate Republicans to immediately vote without delay via conference call to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court “before any of those slippery goddam devils tries to back out.” […]