Although it has many Americans concerned, President Trump’s provocations of China over trade issues hasn’t seemed to bother local insurance adjuster and football coach Bill Rheinholtz, a lifelong U.S. resident. Mr. Rheinholtz, whose junior high football squad is undefeated this year, was glad the president was finally standing up to China. “Good for him. […]
Local runner Gloria Bernhausen was out on her evening jog this Thursday when something hanging in the trees reminded her just how glad she was that the film Blair Witch Project was starting to show its age alongside more recent horror films. “That film really freaked me out,” she said after spying a movement up […]
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PALM BEACH, FL – Unsatisfied with a verdict of “not guilty” returned in his recent trial which reportedly exonerated a Florida man of accusations of illegal activity, the man, now free to go about his life and never mention the trial again, immediately demanded the judge arrest the jury and begin a new trial […]
WASHINGTON DC – Saying it’s been hanging over his head for most of the summer and a good chunk of the winter, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller this week hit it hard to try and crank out that report that he’s been putting off before the end of the term. “I really shoulda started this […]
KENESHAW, WI A local aunt who opened a gift store last year to earn some extra money has reportedly been buying signs and t-shirts with slogans featuring white grievance themes, according to her nephews this week. “Yeah, it’s becoming a bit of a problem,” said her nephew Zack, who works the register twice a […]
Saying they did not wish to further antagonize someone already possessed of a better sense of sentence structure, mechanics and comedic timing, a humor site this week announced they have decided to block the IP address associated with a local man’s home to prevent him from reading its articles. “While counter-intuitive from a subscription […]
SHELVRE, DELAWARE – Despite a firm conviction that he was locked in a deadly battle of multi-dimensional chess for control of the universe with the Being who created it, Martin Gimlok of Shelvre, Delaware, reportedly has been playing something much closer to the game of checkers, a board game popularized by the Milton-Bradley company […]
WILSHIRE, VERMONT – A time-honored Christmas prank played repeatedly over the years by the Jensen boys of Wilshire, Vermont, surprised a few of them this week when a carefully placed pine cone in a walnut bowl proved to be 20% funnier than last year’s version. The informal study, conducted in the living room as […]