MENLO PARK, CA – Outlining a bright future ahead during an impromptu meeting of the 7th floor staff this week, co-worker Steve got the sales team excited when he announced Casual Fridays would be a permanent perk for all employees in the operations division. Cheering broke out as the staff high-fived and celebrated the […]
LITTLE ITALY, NY – Saying he was “most unhappy” with developments in the recent Russiagate investigation, and that “a man’s privacy must be respected always,” Don Vito Corleone expressed disappointment Tuesday over the seizure of attorney Michael Cohen’s records by the NY office of the FBI. Mr. Corleone, a Sicilian-born immigrant and head of […]
NEW YORK, NY – Thinking he was joining a tour group embarking on a fun-filled 13-day vacation excursion to Eastern Europe, Paul Manafort expressed surprise on Tuesday when told he was actually among a group of Russian diplomats at JFK International airport who were on their way back to Moscow after being expelled from […]
TRAVIS, NH – A local ‘peeping tom’, with several restraining orders filed against him for peering into the windows of nearby houses, played the good Samaritan yesterday when he went out of his way to make you aware of a potentially hazardous condition in your chimney. The creeper, who pilots a six-prop drone equipped […]
BROOKLYN, NY – Errole Sanders has fond memories of his childhood growing up in the Fort Greene area of Brooklyn. And among his favorite recollections are the pickup basketball games with his friends at a nearby park that would last until after dark, when their mothers would call them home for dinner and to […]
CLARKTOWN, AR – In what has become routine for students in Gantner Middle School’s 5th hour wood-working class, students found themselves without a teacher again on Wednesday when industrial arts instructor Marvin Haurbruch spent the entire afternoon on a reconnaissance mission along the school’s playground perimeter. The teacher’s self-described “patrols,” performed while carrying a […]
BARNSTABLE, MA – Smashing the previous record of thirteen texts set during his vacation last year, a local man who received a twenty-third text from his boss since he left the office last Thursday, on what was supposed to be a relaxing two week break, has decided he will not be returning to work. […]
GREENHAVEN, AR – In a series of quiet movements that played out over more than two hours on Tuesday night, Sparcado, a two year-old chihuahua belonging to the Richter family of Greenhaven, Arkansas, finally snuck up this week behind the family cat Boris, taking the feline completely by surprise. Boris was busy watching a […]
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – A local elderly couple has provoked frustration and numerous corrections from their grandchildren this week by continuously misusing the 2017 internet meme: “cash me ousside, howbow dah.” The phrase, originally a quote uttered by 13-year-old Danielle Bregoli on an episode of The Dr. Phil Show, during which she challenged the audience […]
RUDDINGTON BEACH, CA – A local man was treated this week for burns to his retina after staring at the sun continuously for nearly ten minutes in nearby Ruddington Beach, authorities say. The man, who did not want to reveal his name, had become distracted by thoughts about his Netflix streaming account while walking […]