Egghead Scientists Need To Pick Up Pace, Demands Functional Idiots
“Chop Chop, Marcus Welby! We ain’t got all day!” makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.
President Starting To Wonder If Fox News Actually Just Making Shit Up
It would explain a lot. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News
QAnon Supporter Calls In Sick To Work, Cites Post No. 2376
Saying she had a ringing headache that she was sure was being caused by the unchecked actions of the deep state, Florida resident Marley Kilnert called in sick to work this morning, telling her boss he could find the reason in Q post number 2376. “I was out with a couple friends last night […]
Friendly Coworker’s Mind Races For Segue To Eye Patch You’re Wearing
“Done any sight-seeing recently?” makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News
Pleasing Out Of Focus Christmas Lights Outside Window Actually Oncoming Runaway Train
Relaxing with a cappuccino during the busy holiday season at your nearby coffee shop usually brings a moment of calm to an otherwise chaotic few weeks, which is why you were surprised to discover those pretty out of focus lights outside the window were not from a Christmas display down the street, as you originally […]
Baby Boomer Annoyed Doomed Generation Not More Grateful For Car Magazine Collection
After careful consideration and months of planning, including drawing up a revised will, a local baby boomer was perturbed this week when his son failed to show any gratitude after learning he would receive the man’s 37-year collection of carefully preserved car magazines. “I just don’t understand how he could be so thoughtless,” the […]
Local Man Confronts Gut-Wrenching Inevitability Of Wednesday
Yes, this is happening now. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News
Dog Owner Shuts Front Door, Transforms Into New Human Never Seen Before
“If only my owner were here to see this.” makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News
Local Man Not Worried About Trade War Since All His Stuff Comes From Walmart
Although it has many Americans concerned, President Trump’s provocations of China over trade issues hasn’t seemed to bother local insurance adjuster and football coach Bill Rheinholtz, a lifelong U.S. resident. Mr. Rheinholtz, whose junior high football squad is undefeated this year, was glad the president was finally standing up to China. “Good for him. […]
Report: Mom And Dad Communicating In Weird New Code
It looks a lot like that bank language they use on checks. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.