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Thursday, February 29, 2024

QAnon Supporter Calls In Sick To Work, Cites Post No. 2376

 
Saying she had a ringing headache that she was sure was being caused by the unchecked actions of the deep state, Florida resident Marley Kilnert called in sick to work this morning, telling her boss he could find the reason in Q post number 2376.

“I was out with a couple friends last night at ‘The Flagon Wheel,” Ms. Kilnert said, “when all of the sudden I saw the president on TV, motioning to a guy behind him who was holding his head. And right at that moment, I started to get a headache, which really freaked me out.”

“So, when I got home, I started searching through all the Q posts for anything that might cause a headache, and suffice to say, post 2376 explained…it…all,” she said.

“It’s terrible what the deep state is up to,” she added.

 

Not A Reason To Call In Sick

Saying he was sorry that Ms. Kilnert had a headache, Assistant Manager Russ Molbers said that he appreciated the call from his employee, but that the additional information about the posting was unnecessary.

“Marley relates a lot of her late night research to us at the office,” Mr. Molbers said. “Some other employees are not very receptive, and we have asked her to keep it to the break room which she said was no problem. But using a post on the internet as a reason not to come into work is not a good reason.”

 

More Research Needed Into Ailments Caused By Deep State

Saying she was starting a new Reddit thread on physical ailments, Ms. Kilnert had already identified several hundred Q posts that needed to be considered.

“When you look at post numbers 2,376, 2,371, 2,361, 2,355, 2,354, 2,347, 2,338, 2,327, 2,318, 2,311, 2,298, 2,284, 2,280, 2,276, 2,251, 2,249, 2,238, 2,235, 2,221, 2,219, 2,210, 2,192, 2,163, 2,159, 2,154, 2,147, 2,137, 2,088, 2,044, 1.982, 1,917, 1,721, 1,678, 1,675, 1,627, 1,617, 1,599, 1,591. 1.577, 1,560, 1,555, 1,553, 1,551, 1,479, 1,472, 1,451, 1,447, 1,443 , 1.421, 1,289, 1,279, 1,269, 1,260, 1,252, 1,246, 1,245, 1,241, 1,231, 1,229, 1,217, 1,202, 1,089, 1,065, 956, 744 and even as far back as 17, 24, and 121, the pattern is there. It’s undeniable.”

“And that’s not even considering posts 2,215, 2,190, 2,149, 2,086, 2,039, 1,922, 1,725, 1,670, 1,631, 1,588, 1,578, 1,567, 1,559, 1,544, 1,543, 1,540, 1,539, 1,537, 1,522, 1,519, 1,515, 1,506, 1,499, 1,488, 1,481, 1,477, 1,450, 1,440, 1,439, 1,350, 1,334, 1,329, 1,312, 1,309, 1,294, 1,256, 1,245, 1,221, 1,214, 1,209, 1,207, 1,184, 1,178, 1,172, 1,169, 1,159, 1,146, 1,140, 1,135, 1,134, 1,122, 1,111, 1,108, 1,097, 1,077, 1,045, 1,028, 996, 875, 873, 847, 821, 820, 809, 774, 768, and 420.”

“In fact, if you start cross-referencing all of those posts carefully with Q+ posts, you will see a conspiracy that will totally blow your mind,” said Ms. Kinert. “It’s like ground-breaking – no one has even started to put these pieces together yet.”

 

Hoping She Feels Better

“If she’s feeling under the weather, that’s all she had to tell us,” he said. “Marley is a good employee, so if she needs to take a couple days for an illness, that’s OK by us.”

When asked if he had any theories as to what caused the headache, Mr. Molbers said he was not a doctor: “but I suppose it’s plausible staying up until all hours of the night hunched over a screen posting hundreds of comments might have had a roll.”

“But whatever the reason,” he added. “We just hope she gets better soon.”
 
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