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Sunday, April 21, 2024

AI Fires Missile Toward Russia After Hungry Officer Mistakenly Types In “Launch Order”

QUANTICO, VA –

In a surprising development at CENTCOM Air Force Regional headquarters Tuesday, an AI bot launched a missile toward Russia after Senior Airman Bryce Crumsworth mistakenly typed “launch order” instead of “lunch order” into an AI prompt.

The missile launch, which triggered a full scale alert to all nuclear forces to prepare for combat, occurred as Airman Crumsworth was attempting to use the bot to order a BLT from a nearby deli.

“My commanding officer has been encouraging us to use AI wherever possible to make our jobs more efficient,” Airman Crumsworth said as he packed up his personal items from his desk while the missile hurtled toward Moscow. “I thought ordering lunch was a good way to get familiar with the technology.”

“I guess I didn’t realize the AI was hooked up to our missile systems,” he added.

While Crumsworth’s commanding officer, Colonel John Sieverstenst expressed disappointment over the mistaken launch, he commended the Airman for his use of AI. “While this event will likely result in full-scale nuclear war and a reassignment for Senior Airman Crumsworth, the Air Force appreciates his initiative in learning to utilize this very important technology which we are currently integrating into all of our networks to better improve our defenses, and enhance the security of our country.”

In a statement to reporters, the Pentagon emphasized the need for heightened vigilance when using AI to prevent such incidents from occurring in the future.

“While AI will prove to be an invaluable tool for our armed forces as we chart the future of warfare, we urge all of our service men and women to be cognizant of the fact that it is unknown what exactly those capabilities are, or, in fact, which systems they may or may not be in control of.”

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