FBI Uncovers Shark Plot To Overthrow US Government

FBI Uncovers Shark Plot To Overthrow US Government

WASHINGTON DC – In what is believed to be the first plot ever by an aquatic species to topple the United States government by force, the FBI announced today that they had foiled a plan by sharks to take over the White House and install a new shark dictator. The plan, which was outlined in […]

Hawaiian Civil Defense Worker Blames Candy Crush For False Alarm

Hawaiian Civil Defense Worker Blames Candy Crush For False Alarm

  HONOLULU, HA – A Hawaiian civil defense worker who mistakenly clicked a button alerting millions of island residents that the arrival of an incoming ballistics missile was imminent, apologized today and said playing the popular internet game Candy Crush was likely responsible for her inadvertent action.   I Am So Addicted To That Game […]

Evangelicals Sign Letter In Support Of $130,000 Payments To Porn Actresses

Evangelicals Sign Letter In Support Of $130,000 Payments To Porn Actresses

  UNITED STATES – In an unexpected development in religious circles this week, forty-seven prominent evangelical pastors signed a letter in support of making payments of $130,000 to porn actresses when absolutely necessary. “While we don’t agree with everything about paying porn actresses $130,000,” said Marvin Linkwaiter, pastor of the Evangelical Church Of The Armageddon, […]

Obama Decides To Leave Ex-Presidents, Embarks On Solo Career

Obama Decides To Leave Ex-Presidents, Embarks On Solo Career

  WASHINGTON, DC – Citing “creative differences” and a need to explore new territory, President Obama this week announced he was leaving the Ex-Presidents, a group that has been his main focus for the past year, to pursue personal projects. “I have really enjoyed my time with the guys and am proud of the things […]

US House And Senate Agree On Tax Bill

US House And Senate Agree On Tax Bill

  WASHINGTON DC – The US House and Senate today reportedly came to an agreement on the details of the new tax overhaul for the country, having ironed out their differences on the particulars.   Best Of Both Worlds The new tax bill contains the best provisions from both bills, said a member of the […]

Radio Stations Agree To Redact Lyric “Safe And Warm” From California Dreaming

Radio Stations Agree To Redact Lyric “Safe And Warm” From California Dreaming

  LOS ANGELES, CA The National Association Of Radio Broadcasters today announced they will redact the lyrics “safe and warm” from the Mommas and Papa’s 1960’s classic song “California Dreaming” from all versions currently on air, out of respect for the victims of this season’s wildfires.   Obviously Not Safe At All “Clearly, there is […]

1 2 3 9