QUEBEC CITY – Despite repeated coaching from the six other allied leaders on how to form the individual letters that make up the words “Donald Trump”, the US president was unable to sign the joint statement at the end of the G7 summit this week hosted by the Canadian government. “He just wasn’t getting […]
PRINCETON, NJ – Leaving his home recording studio behind to take a long bike ride and look for a good coffee shop, a man leaning on his bicycle with crossed arms decided against busting some ill rhymes this morning after breakfast. “Yesterday I was ready to lay down this new joint, but for some […]
WASHINGTON, DC – Given the fast pace at which the Trump administration has been filling positions on the federal bench, it’s understandable that a mistake could be made somewhere along the line. And so it happened this week as the White House apologized for inadvertently recommending the appointment of an African-American judge to the […]
WASHINGTON DC – The US Treasury announced this week that a new currency called “America First Bucks” has been declared the official monetary unit of the United States of America by order of the President Donald Trump. The president announced the new currency, which will be available in 1, 5, 15, 25 and 65 buck […]
UNITED STATES – Across the country this week, referees, umpires, line judges and other sporting officials on the take expressed their extreme gratitude for the Supreme Court’s landmark decision to legalize sports gambling. “Jackpot!”, said Olaf Jorgenson, who asked that we use a fictitious name out of fear of being fired from his job […]
UNITED STATES – The year 2016 is mostly remembered for the historic US presidential election. But there was another front page news story that has been all but forgotten, and unfortunately, so have its many characters that once made news around the world. Groundbreaking, Then Heart-Breaking Pokèmon Go provided a good living to […]
JERSEY CITY, NJ – In a move to add more muscle to the group of lawyers preparing to defend him against possible allegations from the Mueller investigation, President Trump today announced that Hulk Hogan would join his legal defense “Lightening Strike Force Team”. “The Hulkster is well known in legal circles which many people […]
UNITED STATES – Rising from their beds with nowhere else to go, and no prospects of relief in sight, Americans across the country staggered this morning into the oncoming headlights of yet another blitzkrieg of daily news. “For the love of God, make it stop,” said Alfred Tennysol, a UX developer for a hotel […]
WASHINGTON DC – As the nation grieves the shooting deaths of four people in a Nashville restaurant by an assailant with an assault rifle, a group of people who spend every waking moment at the White House gate asking to see the president expressed thanks to the NRA for fighting hard every day to […]
WASHINGTON DC – In news out of Washington this week, President Trump missiles slime ball porn star Mexicans, Putin skyscraper prostitutes urinate contestants groping winning. While Washington insiders say it’s true that trips to country club fired resigning leaks spelling tweet Fox, sources report that totally lies Hillary weak completely witch hunt loser dopey. […]