Papa John’s Founder Accuses Colonel Sanders Of Bestiality

Papa John’s Founder Accuses Colonel Sanders Of Bestiality

  LOUISVILLE, KY – In a continuation of the turbulent events surrounding the founder of Papa John’s Pizza, John Schnatter, the ex-CEO today followed up his accusation that the beloved icon of the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise used the “N-word” with claims that Colonel Sanders had been seen sexually cavorting with animals.   “Using N-word […]

87% Of US Children Already Forgetting Trump Presidency

87% Of US Children Already Forgetting Trump Presidency

  UNITED STATES – Although the subject of a recent poll is the current President of the United States, a random sampling from across the country revealed that 87% of American children cannot recall who Donald J. Trump is, or why they should even know his name. While the same children remembered small details about […]

President Nominates Scumbag Steve For Supreme Court Justice

President Nominates Scumbag Steve For Supreme Court Justice

  WASHINGTON DC – In the wake of Justice Anthony Kennedy’s announced retirement from the US Supreme Court, President Trump moved swiftly today to nominate internet meme Scumbag Steve as the replacement for the 81-year old judge.   Met At A Key Party At Mar-A-Lago The president, a longtime fan of the erstwhile internet sensation, […]

Berkshire Hathaway Discovers It Owns Rhode Island During Routine Audit

Berkshire Hathaway Discovers It Owns Rhode Island During Routine Audit

  OMAHA, NB – The American multinational conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway, headquartered in Omaha, Nebraska, made a surprising discovery this week when one of its accountants realized the company had accidentally purchased the entire state of New Hampshire during a large trade last Tuesday. The transaction, involving several thousand shares of company stock valued at over […]

President Trump Unable To Spell His Name On G7 Statement

President Trump Unable To Spell His Name On G7 Statement

  QUEBEC CITY – Despite repeated coaching from the six other allied leaders on how to form the individual letters that make up the words “Donald Trump”, the US president was unable to sign the joint statement at the end of the G7 summit this week hosted by the Canadian government. “He just wasn’t getting […]

Crooked Referees Cheer Decision To Legalize Sports Betting

Crooked Referees Cheer Decision To Legalize Sports Betting

  UNITED STATES – Across the country this week, referees, umpires, line judges and other sporting officials on the take expressed their extreme gratitude for the Supreme Court’s landmark decision to legalize sports gambling. “Jackpot!”, said Olaf Jorgenson, who asked that we use a fictitious name out of fear of being fired from his job […]

Pokèmon Go Homeless Population Straining Nation’s Resources

Pokèmon Go Homeless Population Straining Nation’s Resources

  UNITED STATES – The year 2016 is mostly remembered for the historic US presidential election. But there was another front page news story that has been all but forgotten, and unfortunately, so have its many characters that once made news around the world.   Groundbreaking, Then Heart-Breaking Pokèmon Go provided a good living to […]

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