Horrified Trump Fires Pompeo For “Freakishly Low Net Worth”

Horrified Trump Fires Pompeo For “Freakishly Low Net Worth”

  WASHINGTON DC – A disturbed President Trump was forced to fire his Secretary of State this week when aids confessed that not only is the former Congressman not a billionaire, his net worth was likely less than 400,000 dollars. “What kind of person has so little money?” the president asked his cabinet, which has […]

87% Of US Children Already Forgetting Trump Presidency

87% Of US Children Already Forgetting Trump Presidency

  UNITED STATES – Although the subject of a recent poll is the current President of the United States, a random sampling from across the country revealed that 87% of American children cannot recall who Donald J. Trump is, or why they should even know his name. While the same children remembered small details about […]

Berkshire Hathaway Discovers It Owns Rhode Island During Routine Audit

Berkshire Hathaway Discovers It Owns Rhode Island During Routine Audit

  OMAHA, NB – The American multinational conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway, headquartered in Omaha, Nebraska, made a surprising discovery this week when one of its accountants realized the company had accidentally purchased the entire state of New Hampshire during a large trade last Tuesday. The transaction, involving several thousand shares of company stock valued at over […]

President Unable To Spell His Name On G7 Statement

President Unable To Spell His Name On G7 Statement

  QUEBEC CITY – Despite repeated coaching from the six other allied leaders on how to form the individual letters that make up the words “Donald Trump”, the US president was unable to sign the joint statement at the end of the G7 summit this week hosted by the Canadian government. “He just wasn’t getting […]

Crooked Referees Cheer Decision To Legalize Sports Betting

Crooked Referees Cheer Decision To Legalize Sports Betting

  UNITED STATES – Across the country this week, referees, umpires, line judges and other sporting officials on the take expressed their extreme gratitude for the Supreme Court’s landmark decision to legalize sports gambling. “Jackpot!”, said Olaf Jorgenson, who asked that we use a fictitious name out of fear of being fired from his job […]

Pokèmon Go Homeless Population Straining Nation’s Resources

Pokèmon Go Homeless Population Straining Nation’s Resources

  UNITED STATES – The year 2016 is mostly remembered for the historic US presidential election. But there was another front page news story that has been all but forgotten, and unfortunately, so have its many characters that once made news around the world.   Groundbreaking, Then Heart-Breaking Pokèmon Go provided a good living to […]


Hulk Hogan To Join President’s Legal Defense Team

Hulk Hogan To Join President’s Legal Defense Team

  JERSEY CITY, NJ – In a move to add more muscle to the group of lawyers preparing to defend him against possible allegations from the Mueller investigation, President Trump today announced that Hulk Hogan would join his legal defense “Lightening Strike Force Team”. “The Hulkster is well known in legal circles which many people […]

Bleary-Eyed Americans Confront Yet Another Pitiless News Day

Bleary-Eyed Americans Confront Yet Another Pitiless News Day

  UNITED STATES – Rising from their beds with nowhere else to go, and no prospects of relief in sight, Americans across the country staggered this morning into the oncoming headlights of yet another blitzkrieg of daily news. “For the love of God, make it stop,” said Alfred Tennysol, a UX developer for a hotel […]

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