Radio Stations Agree To Redact Lyric “Safe And Warm” From California Dreaming

Radio Stations Agree To Redact Lyric “Safe And Warm” From California Dreaming

  LOS ANGELES, CA The National Association Of Radio Broadcasters today announced they will redact the lyrics “safe and warm” from the Mommas and Papa’s 1960’s classic song “California Dreaming” from all versions currently on air, out of respect for the victims of this season’s wildfires.   Obviously Not Safe At All “Clearly, there is […]

Red Party Passes New Income Redistribution Program For US

Red Party Passes New Income Redistribution Program For US

WASHINGTON DC – In a triumph for the ruling Red Party of the United States, congress today passed a law that will redistribute money from wealthier blue states to less well-off areas of the country using a new “double-taxation” act. Under the law, capitalists in blue states will be taxed on taxes they are already […]

Penguins Fed Up With Climate Change, Head North To Kick Some Ass

Penguins Fed Up With Climate Change, Head North To Kick Some Ass

  ANTARCTICA – Fed up with years of inactivity by the vast majority of human beings on the planet, penguins across the southern hemisphere today headed north to finally kick some major ass. The tiny flightless birds, promising an ass-whooping like the human race has never seen, swarmed into the oceans and began swimming furiously […]

President Reveals Plans For Miss America Pageant Escape Pod

President Reveals Plans For Miss America Pageant Escape Pod

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a dramatic presentation at the Air Force Station at Cape Canaveral today, President Trump revealed he is overseeing the construction of a special spacecraft that will serve as an escape pod for the current contestants of the Miss America Pageant in the event of the total destruction of planet earth. […]

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