MLB Playoffs Suspended As Nation’s Supply Of Spit Runs Dangerously Low

MLB Playoffs Suspended As Nation’s Supply Of Spit Runs Dangerously Low

  After determining the nation’s supply of saliva was being depleted at an alarming rate during the initial games of the 2019 Major League Baseball Playoffs, Commissioner Rob Manfred today announced the league would cease play until more accurate measurements could be made of the nation’s reserves. “Obviously our athletes use a large amount of […]

Jonathan Taylor Exits Tampa Stadium Runs Over Hurricane Dorian

Jonathan Taylor Exits Tampa Stadium Runs Over Hurricane Dorian

  After scoring 4 touchdowns in a convincing victory over the South Florida Bulldogs Friday night, Wisconsin Badger Running Back Jonathan Taylor terrified onlookers after his final score when he ran out of the back of the end zone and directly into approaching Hurricane Dorian. “He was not messing around,” said Lavarius Thompsen who had […]


Bryson DeChambeau Wins Tournament, Declared Duke Of Burgundy

Bryson DeChambeau Wins Tournament, Declared Duke Of Burgundy

  BUCKINGHAM PALACE – After a rousing third round victory at the Northern Trust Tournament in picturesque Paramus, New Jersey, the American professional golfer Bryson DeChambeau was declared Duke of Burgundy by her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II at a ceremony in Buckingham Palace this morning, endowing him with all the rights and privileges of […]

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