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Yearly Archives: 2023

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Founders Terrified Of 34 Year-Old Presidential Candidate Agree It OK To Be Insurrectionist

In the dimly lit chamber where they gathered to sign the US Constitution, a collective sigh of relief echoed among the founding fathers on...

Local Man Who Lived With Secret Family For 6 Months Discovers Original Family Didn’t Realize He Was Gone

Local man Jonathan Windsor of East Peoria, Illinois, had been quietly leading a double life for several years after he met and later fathered...

Trump Emerges As Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Take On US

Faced with the difficult task of separating himself from Democratic nominee Joe Biden, Former President Trump got some good news this week from political...

Pleasing Out Of Focus Christmas Lights Outside Window Actually Oncoming Runaway Train

Relaxing with a cappuccino during the busy holiday season at your nearby coffee shop usually brings a moment of calm to an otherwise chaotic...

Friend Quits Job To Painstakingly Hand-Letter 1,200 Christmas Cards With Quill Pen

BARLOW, DELAWARE -  In what you fear might be a case of a person taking Christmas crafting a bit too far, your friend today turned...

Strategically Placed Pine Cone In Walnut Dish 20% Funnier This Holiday Season

  WILSHIRE, VERMONT - A time-honored Christmas prank played repeatedly over the years by the Jensen boys of Wilshire, Vermont, surprised a few of them this...

CEO Asks Board To Clarify How He Can Be Paid So Much Friggin’ Money

NEW YORK - In an effort to gather more information from his company's board of directors regarding his compensation, a CEO this week sent a...

Reindeer Glad To Escape Existential Hell Of Being Packed In A Box For A Year

  DOOLEY, IN - For 338 days a year, a stuffed reindeer named Gustav sits quietly in a box staring at a point of light...

Kool-Aid Salesman Says Country’s Only Problem Is Not Drinking Enough Kool-Aid

You can never have too much of a good thing. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Local Man Uses AI To Determine Which Shoe Goes On Left Foot

"AI - show me picture of right hand glove." makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Yale Graduate Announces He Forgot Erything He Lrn At Yale

Governors - they're just like us! makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Florida School Principal Fired After Math Teacher Writes 69 On Chalkboard

Really there should have been a trigger warning. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Couple Adopts Incessantly Barking Emotional Sabotage Dog

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

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