White House Scales Back Wall Proposal, Eliminates Catapults

White House Scales Back Wall Proposal, Eliminates Catapults

  WASHINGTON DC – In the interest of forging a compromise with Democrats on the wall between Mexico, the White House announced this week that they are removing a provision calling for 2,500 catapults that were meant to defend the wall against invading immigrants in the event of a siege. “We are being more than […]

Roger Stone’s Dog Arrested On Weapons Charges

Roger Stone’s Dog Arrested On Weapons Charges

  FT. LAUDERDALE, FL – In what’s sure to be a test case for the Supreme Court, a dog belonging to Roger Stone was arrested outside his Fort Lauderdale home this afternoon brandishing a 9mm handgun in front of a crowd of children. While Mr. Stone’s dog was taken into custody peacefully, a search of […]

“This Is Fine” Dog Announces 2020 Run For President

“This Is Fine” Dog Announces 2020 Run For President

A BURNING BUILDING – In a surprise announcement this week, the This Is Fine dog, a popular meme and cartoon character from the comic strip “Gunshow” announced he was forming a committee to run for president in the 2020 election. Stating in his press release that “Things are going to be OK,” the This Is […]

Last Minute Gift Ideas: Russian Spy Handbook Of Hypnotism

Last Minute Gift Ideas: Russian Spy Handbook Of  Hypnotism

  For the woman who has everything, this holiday season get her something she can really use. This smart looking leather-bound book with embossed type will give her the power to HYPNOTIZE her husband to do her bidding around the house, at parties, or even at his place of employment!   Make Your Husband Do […]

General Mattis Resigns, Boosting Jobs Program For Chronically Unemployable

General Mattis Resigns, Boosting Jobs Program For Chronically Unemployable

  WASHINGTON DC – Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, whose experience and stability were widely seen as a balance to an unpredictable president, resigned Thursday, dramatically boosting the chances of job seekers with no discernible skills whatsoever of getting a plum cabinet position in the most powerful organization on earth.   Hell Freezing Over Candidates across […]


NRA Clarifies Mission, Changes Name To National Russian Association

NRA Clarifies Mission, Changes Name To National Russian Association

  FAIRFAX, VA – In the wake of revelations concerning millions of dollars in contributions received from Russian oligarchs over a period of many years, the National Rifle Association this week announced an official name change to better clarify its goals, and will be known going forward in the US as the National Russian Association. […]