Yearly Archives: 2024
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Netanyahu Touts Success At Creating Entire Nation Of People Who Want To Kill Israelis
NEW YORK -
In a speech to the United Nations Friday, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel declared victory in his plan to incite...
Cheetos Announces New AI Cheetos
Frito Lay, the snack manufacturer and subsidiary of PepsiCo, announced today that they are releasing a new twist on their classic snack Cheetos with...
CIA Evacuates Al Pacino To Remote Island After Receiving Coded Message ‘Maria The Oppenheimer’
In a surprising turn of events following the 2024 Academy Awards, the CIA reportedly evacuated legendary actor Al Pacino to a remote island in...
AI Fires Missile Toward Russia After Hungry Officer Mistakenly Types In “Launch Order”
QUANTICO, VA -
In a surprising development at CENTCOM Air Force Regional headquarters Tuesday, an AI bot launched a missile toward Russia after Senior Airman...
News Outlet Successfully Repurposes Trump Article From 4 Years Ago Without Changes
In a time-saving move that freed up a substantial portion of his day, journalist David Bleicher of the Daily Cutoff digital news magazine was...
Local Man Concerned Midjourney Girlfriend Seeing Other Subscribers
While scrubbing thru the latest images on a public discord server, local man Steve Grinscheld became concerned on Wednesday after seeing images of a...
Marketing Manager Unaware AI Spending $1 Million Per Minute Running Company’s Ad On Pinterest
Marketing Manager Kevin Milzigren of local skin care products company Skintastics, was blissfully unaware Friday as he aimlessly scrolled thru vacation options in Mexico...
Disney+ Announces New 14-Episode Series Focused On Origin Story Of Baby Greedo
HOLLYWOOD -
In a bid to recapture the popularity of baby Yoda from the prequel series "The Mandalorian," Disney+ announced Tuesday it is moving into...
Alabama Couple Builds New Lake Home After Claiming 23 Frozen Embryos As Dependents
DAUPHIN ISLAND, AL -
A circuit court judge in Montgomery, Alabama, ruled on Wednesday that a couple can claim 23 frozen embryos as dependents for...
Alabama Supreme Court Rules Klondike Bars Can Legally Carry Firearms
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Navlany Dead From Natural Causes Of Being Shot In Head And Pushed Out 5th Story Window Says Kremlin
MOSCOW -
Officials in Moscow released the results of the investigation into the death of Alexei Navalny on Friday, which revealed the Russian activist...
49ers Miss Flight Home After Being Surprised By TSA Security Rules At Airport
LAS VEGAS -
The San Francisco 49ers encountered an unexpected setback on their journey home Monday after being completely taken aback by the series of...
After Loss To Mahomes, Purdy Faces Questions About Lack Of Insurance Company Endorsement Deal
LAS VEGAS -
Disappointed that his San Francisco 49ers were unable to beat the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl, Brock Purdy faced...
Nervous NFL Officials Reschedule Super Bowl So Taylor Swift Can Attend
In a surprising turn of events, officials of the National Football League Friday made the unprecedented decision to reschedule the Super Bowl to accommodate...
