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KLEEB, NB – Local man Gerry Gurstaed worked tirelessly for decades at the same company here in this small town near Omaha. Punching the clock, rarely calling in sick, he put in extra hours each day to increase the company’s bottom line, and has been gratified to watch its value grow over the years. […]
WASHINGTON DC – On the heels of successfully re-titling the “North American Free Trade Agreement” as the “United States-Mexico-Canada Agreement,” President Trump followed up by announcing a new name for the country’s popular national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The anthem’s new title, announced in a White House Rose Garden ceremony today, will be “The […]
WASHINGTON DC – A disturbed President Trump was forced to fire his Secretary of State this week when aids confessed that not only is the former Congressman not a billionaire, his net worth was likely less than 400,000 dollars. “What kind of person has so little money?” the president asked his cabinet, which has […]
AUSTIN, TX – In a bewildering web of conspiracies that even Alex Jones is having trouble coming to grips with, the application to deliver the content of his show, Info Wars, has in fact turned out to be software that allows former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to observe and record the movements of […]
PEORIA, IL – A local man with a side business of buying and selling items on Ebay made an unhappy discovery this week when the “possible gold doubloons” being sold by “treazrhunter002” that he paid $342 for turned out to be, in fact, a collection of recently minted euro coins. “Yeah, it wasn’t my […]
BEIJING – Using the massive 1.2 trillion dollars of US treasury bills it owns as collateral, the Chinese government today announced it will step in and purchase thousands of American farms that are going bankrupt due to the ongoing trade war waged by President Trump. As prices continue to drop for farmers due to retaliations […]
VOLGOGRAD, RUSSIA – An army of Russian Bots, responsible for wreaking havoc on elections and fomenting discord around the globe, has announced a new fragrance line this week for men and women. The new scent, called Smelnik, immediately garnered 1.3 million likes on Twitter and Facebook upon its announcement, and was trending heavily across […]
NEW YORK, NY – In the wake of controversy over a Superbowl ad for Dodge trucks that used a Martin Luther King Jr. speech as its soundtrack, Chevrolet decided this week against airing a new commercial for their Silverado line of pickups featuring the voice of Mahatma Gandhi exhorting the people of India to […]