President Trump Demands Gold Medal For Being President

President Trump Demands Gold Medal For Being President

WASHINGTON DC – After watching several hours of curling from the Oval Office over the weekend, an irritated President Trump called his staff members into the White House Sunday afternoon and questioned them how anyone could win an Olympic gold medal for sliding a rock across some ice, when he won the entire presidency of […]

Eagles Fans Win Superbowl, Burn Independence Hall To The Ground

Eagles Fans Win Superbowl, Burn Independence Hall To The Ground

  PHILADELPHIA, PA – Joyous Eagles fans filled the streets of Philadelphia Sunday night after their football team defeated the New England Patriots 41-33, and marked the historic celebration by reducing the building where the US Constitution was written to a pile of ashes. “This is the greatest day of my life!” cried Arthur Belling, […]

Hall-Of-Famer Isiah Thomas Returns To NBA, Scores 127 Points

Hall-Of-Famer Isiah Thomas Returns To NBA, Scores 127 Points

  CLEVELAND, OH – Saying that he wanted to “show these kids how a full-ass grown man plays this game,” 57 year-old Isiah Thomas returned to the NBA this week with the Cleveland Cavaliers and promptly scored 127 points with 37 rebounds and 14 blocked shots Tuesday night. In an aggressive display of dominance over […]

Cleveland Browns Social Media Team Placed On Suicide Watch

Cleveland Browns Social Media Team Placed On Suicide Watch

CLEVELAND, OH – As the losing streak for the Cleveland Browns shows no signs of abating, the National Organization For Sports Social Media has placed the social media team for the NFL’s Browns on suicide watch as a precautionary measure following the team’s latest loss this season. Round the clock monitoring will begin starting immediately, […]

Trump Signs Health Care Directive To Fire All NFL Players

Trump Signs Health Care Directive To Fire All NFL Players

  WASHINGTON DC – President Trump today enlisted the power of the pen to finally right what he perceived as a terrible wrong in the US health care industry: the refusal of NFL player to stand for the national anthem before games. “I have studied the health care debate for a long time, and as […]


Trump National Jupiter, The Forgotten Golf Club

Trump National Jupiter, The Forgotten Golf Club

JUPITER, FLORIDA – History is filled with bright and promising characters who, through no fault of their own, were overshadowed by their more talented and famous siblings. Bobby Kennedy, Raul Castro, Frankie Jonas, and Gummo Marx are just a few who were upstaged by their charismatic brothers. So, too, there are otherwise first rate golf […]