Science
Nation’s Terror Of Being Attacked By Large Balloon Finally Ended
Sadly the PTSD will live on.
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Russian Scientist Staying Low Key On Hypersonic Missiles Running Windows 9
Lucky it has all the patches.
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NASA Launches Spacecraft To Knock Asteroid Into Path Of Earth
CAPE CANAVERAL -
Saying that Earth's best days are definitely behind her and it was the only responsible thing to do, a group of resigned...
FDA Grants Emergency Authorization Of Claim That Vaccine Makes Penis 3″ Longer
"Who's excited for the vaccine now?"
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CDC Audit Finds Employees Failed To Clean Fryer Entire Month Of February
To be fair, they were not even on the schedule that week.
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Researchers Closing In On Link Between Coronavirus And Gritty
"Just tell us how much time have we got?" say scientists.
"For the love of God say something, damn you!"
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Astronomers Discover Sun Is Made Of Crème Brûlée
Newly released images from the National Science Foundation’s Daniel K. Inouye Solar Telescope shocked the astronomical community this week when they revealed that the...
President Bans Imports Of Corona To Stop Deadly Virus
Except for menthol Coronas - those are OK.
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Mar A Lagoon Club Announces Grand Opening In 2035
A consortium of developers in Palm Beach, Florida, this week announced their intention to open an exclusive club for the well-to-do in an upscale...
Astronomer Apologizes For Leaving Cherry Lifesaver On Telescope Lens
SANTIAGO, CHILE -
A little known astronomer working at the Santiago De Postale Observatory caused a worldwide uproar in the scientific community today when astronomers...
Bee Looking Forward To Dinosaurs Ruling Planet Again
As bees everywhere continue to dwindle in numbers as part of their master plan to starve the human race, a local bee said he...
Despite Test Results Doctor No Idea What Wrong With You
Despite running a battery of tests designed to uncover the cause of your symptoms and identify a treatment plan, your doctor this week reported...
Man Experiences Daylight Savings Time Shift As Foretold By Einstein
NEWPORT CANYON, CO -
While astrophysics might seem like a remote field of study, far removed from the events that make up our daily lives,...
Mars Perseverance Rover Finds Newspaper Warning Of Dire Effects Of Climate Change
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL -
Scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab this week announced the historic discovery by the rover Perseverance of a newspaper clipping on...
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