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Sunday, July 14, 2024

Mar A Lagoon Club Announces Grand Opening In 2035

A consortium of developers in Palm Beach, Florida, this week announced their intention to open an exclusive club for the well-to-do in an upscale area of the city that they expect to be almost completely submerged in sea water by the year 2035.

The group’s spokesperson, Angelique Veronika, said developers plan to acquire the current Mar A Lago Golf Club at a bargain basement price in 2027 once the golf course is inundated by the ocean due to unchecked global warming.


The Wonders Of The Sea

“The design of the Mar A Lagoon resort will be based on the model of Venice, Italy, one of the most successful tourist destinations in the world,” said Ms. Veronika.

“Once checked in at the main building, Mar A Lagoon guests will be ferried to their rooms in charming old world gondolas where they can dip their feet in the soothing waters off their front doorstep, or listen to the sounds of the rising ocean as the waves lap at their window sills.”

“For those looking for recreation, scuba trips will be organized to explore the rusted cars at the bottom of the nearby Palm Beach Shopping Mall. And poles will be available so guests can fish off their balconies for marlin, swordfish, or whichever species survive the next 20 years of surging ocean temperatures.”


A Great Time Share Opportunity

“The Mar A Lagoon Limited Partnership LLC expects to take full advantage of tax deductions for pass-through corporations, as well as a loosening of environmental regulations for ocean side properties, making this resort concept an attractive tax shelter for the discerning investor,” said a press release.

As of press time, the ownership group said opening in 2035 was a conservative estimate, and will likely be moved up 10-15 years depending on what new regulations the Trump administration enacts to help businesses in the new “ocean encroachment” industry.


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