NEW HAVEN, CT-
When it comes to our high-tech world of smart phones, automated factories and killer drones, people have differing opinions on the relative benefits of these new devices. Make America The Best wanted to find out what one group thought about the new driverless cars on the road: other cars.
An autonomous or “driverless” car is a vehicle capable of sensing its environment and navigating without human input. We caught up with a Plymouth Valiant and asked how it felt about the new technology:
Make America The Best: As a car, you’ve spent a lot of years being driven by people. What do you think of driverless cars?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: Excuse me, you’ve been driven for years by people. What do you think of these new driverless cars?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: Is your silence meant to indicate that you do not like driverless cars?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: I’ll take that as a yes. Do you think driverless cars are here to stay?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: Look, I am just trying to ask a few questions about something that might have a dramatic impact on you and other cars. Can you please do me the courtesy of just a simple answer?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: Fine. Next question. Do you believe this new technology should be regulated through federal legislation, or on a state-by-state basis?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: I have lots of time.
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: All day.
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: You know what, I’m just going to write down your answer for you. How do you like that?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: …Valiant replied “state… by… state…”
Passerby #1: What is that dude doing?
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: Hi, I’m with Make America The Best. I’m interviewing cars about the new driverless car technology.
Passerby #2: Po-po. Let’s bounce.
Make America The Best: So, Mr. Valiant –
Police Officer: Sir, is that your car?
Make America The Best: Hi Officer, I’m with Make America The Best working on a story about driverless cars and was just interviewing this Valiant about the new technology.
Police Officer: That’s fine, but you’ll need to step back onto the curb if that’s not your vehicle.
Make America The Best: I need to…? You know what? Just fucking forget it. I got what I needed. Thank you, officer.
1972 Valiant:
Make America The Best: And thank you for absolutely nothing, Mr. Valiant …Fucking dumbass.
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