SEATTLE, WA –
Though she’s been on enough dates to know that people rarely live up to their online profile photos, still, a local woman was completely dumbfounded today when she realized that you think your photo on Tinder is actually an accurate representation of what you look like.
Cannot Possibly Be The Same Person
Deciding that you used a random photo you found on the internet as she shook your hand in the restaurant where you agreed to meet, the woman was more than a little surprised when you later brought the photo up in conversation.
And when you said you were glad to finally meet her in person because you didn’t think your photo did you justice, she thought perhaps you were just trying to be funny.
Way Too Different To Be A Photoshop Job
However, after you continued to talk about your photo for an uncomfortable length of time, saying that you were tired of people doctoring their profiles to seem more attractive, she realized that you were probably crazy, since there is no way the human sitting across the table from her could be even remotely related to the human in that picture.
Will Be Slipping Out Shortly
Although your entrees have been ordered, and you spent two hundred dollars on concert tickets for later that evening, her alarm at your assertion that you look anything like the attractive person she thought she was meeting will be bringing your date to an early conclusion.
The woman will be slipping out the back door that she located yesterday when scouting the restaurant, and will climb into a waiting Uber that she called when she told you she was texting her Grandma to wish her a happy birthday.
The thirty minute wait for her return, payment of the hundred dollar dinner bill, and your skipping the concert will be followed by futile attempts to contact her the next day.
However, your efforts will unfortunately not be successful, since the woman never gives her real name out on first dates to avoid any problems with stalkers.
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