SEATTLE, WA –
Though she has been on enough dates to know that real people rarely live up to their profile photos, still, a local woman was completely dumbfounded today when she realized that you think your photo on Tinder is actually an accurate representation of what you look like.
Cannot Possibly Be The Same Person
Shaking your hand in the restaurant where you agreed to meet, and deciding that you used a random photo you found on the internet for your profile, she was more than a little surprised when you later brought the picture up in conversation.
And when you said you were relieved that she agreed to meet in person, because you didn’t think your photo did you justice, she thought perhaps you were just trying to be funny.
Way Too Different To Be A Photoshop Job
However, after you continued to talk about your photo for an uncomfortable length of time, saying that you were tired of people doctoring their profiles to seem more attractive, she realized that you were completely unhinged from reality, since there is no way the human being sitting across the table from her could be even remotely related to the human in that picture.
Will Be Slipping Out Shortly
Although your entrees have been ordered, and you spent two hundred dollars on concert tickets for later that evening, her alarm at your assertion that you look anything like the attractive person she thought she was meeting will bring your date to an end.
The woman will soon be slipping out the back door she located yesterday when she scouted the restaurant, and will climb into a waiting Uber that she called when she told you she was texting her Grandma to wish her a happy birthday. Your thirty minute wait for her to return, followed by the hundred dollar dinner bill and skipping the concert, will be followed by angry attempts to contact her the next day.
However, your efforts will sadly not be productive, since the woman never gives her real name out on first dates to avoid stalkers.
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