SEATTLE, WA –
Though she has been on enough online dates to know that real people rarely live up to their profile photos, still, a local woman was completely dumbfounded today when she realized that you think your photo on Tinder is an accurate representation of what you look like.
Cannot Possibly Be The Same Person
Shaking your hand in the restaurant where you agreed to meet, she had assumed that you used a random photo you found on the internet for your profile, and was more than a little surprised when you later brought the picture up in conversation.
And when you said you were relieved that she agreed to meet in person, because you didn’t think the photo did you justice, she thought perhaps you were just trying to be funny.
Must Be An Extensive Photoshop Job
However, after you continued to talk about the photo for an uncomfortable length of time, she concluded you were simply embarrassed about using it, since it obviously wasn’t you. So, she mentioned that she had removed the red pupils in her profile picture to make you feel better.
But when you said: “yeah, obviously that photo of you was doctored. That’s what most people do these days. I just don’t want to participate in that fake culture,” the woman realized that you were completely unhinged from reality, since there is no way the human being sitting across the table from her could be even remotely related to the human in that picture.
Will Be Slipping Out Shortly
Although your entrees have already been ordered, and you spent two hundred dollars on concert tickets for later that evening, her alarm at your assertion that you look anything like the attractive person she thought she was meeting will end your date shortly.
An experienced online dater, the woman will be soon be slipping out the back door she located yesterday when she scouted the restaurant, climbing into a waiting Uber that she called when she told you she was texting her Grandma to wish her a happy birthday.
Your thirty minute wait for her to return, followed by the hundred dollar dinner bill and skipping the concert, will be followed by angry attempts to contact her the next day.
However, they will not be productive, since the woman never gives her real name out online, to avoid stalkers.
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