Recognizing the nation is encountering tremendous challenges in the face of unprecedented events, we wanted to reach out to let you to know our corporation is definitely here for you during these uncertain economic times.
While the safety and well-being of our employees is always our top priority, we realize the important role we play in being here for you. So we’ve taken steps to make sure you can connect with us even during these difficult circumstances:
- 24-hour access to our dedicated team members to take your payments as soon as you have funds to pay.
- Enhanced collections department activity to recover payments from you if you’ve fallen behind, keeping you safe from dangerous declines in your credit score.
- Tracking of your mobile phone to show up unexpectedly to discuss any unpaid balances in the event you’re not responding to calls.
- Enlisting the help of private investigators to go thru your garbage for evidence of assets that could be applied to your accounts.
- Rental of the house across from the street from you, so that our customer service representatives can keep track of what you’re up to.
- Increased lobbying activity to make new laws to help organize your assets for us.
- Building of an android likeness of you capable of withdrawing funds from your bank account in person and inhabiting your current life.
- Seizing and transporting you to an undisclosed island location until the android makes enough money as you to repay your debt.
Robust business continuity plans like these are just one way we are showing our commitment to make our company even stronger for you during these uncertain times.
We want you to know your well-being is our only goal, and that if we just focus on what’s important, we can make it thru this fiscal quarter – together.
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