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Thursday, June 13, 2024

Americans Formulate Plan To Extend Obama Presidency By Barricading Him In The White House


Concerned that perhaps they had made a terrible mistake in the recent election, hundreds of Americans have begun bringing sofas, old TVs, heavy chairs, and other household items to the White House lawn in a last ditch plan to extend President Obama’s final term by barricading him inside.

“I mean, if he can’t leave the White House, he’s still president, right?” said Eustance Clavier from Naperville, Illinois.

“He’s probably tired from all that travel the last few years, so I bet he won’t mind just chilling in one place for a couple more years,” said Brad Insbruck as he grabbed a coat rack. “He’s obviously got the job down, so it will be pretty easy for him to just keep running the country.”

“They have like bowling alleys, tennis and basketball courts inside” said Ken Brantucket as he and a friend unloaded a credenza from his pickup truck. “It’s almost like he’ll be on vacation, except that he’ll still be doing president stuff like in the mornings. I don’t think he’ll mind.”

Elizabeth Schnuett seemed less sure about how Obama would react. “I hope he’s OK with it. Extending his term this way. I probably wouldn’t appreciate being barricaded in my house by a bunch of strangers,” she said as she slid a coffee table off the top of her Prius and glanced nervously up at the secret service agents standing nearby. “But I haven’t slept for 8 days, and, well, let’s face it. We all know this is probably for the best.”


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