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Thursday, June 13, 2024

New Binary Immersion School Opens In Upper West Side

 
UPPER WEST SIDE, MANHATTAN –

The ever-expanding field of immersion schools got even more crowded this week when a new choice appeared for parents already struggling to sort thru the many options for their children: the world’s first binary language immersion school.

While a plethora of immersion schools already exist in Manhattan’s forward-thinking Upper West Side, the new “Crawford School for Binary Language Immersion” is reportedly the first of its kind. Named for silicon valley entrepreneur and benefactor Stephane T. Crawford, the school encourages students to learn to speak in the binary language of ones and zeroes that computers use to process commands.

 

Hand Me That Apple

“We are surrounded by computers everyday, which increasingly govern all facets of our life: from our entertainment, to social interactions, to our economy. It’s high time that we learn to speak directly to them,” said Mr. Crawford at the school’s opening. “The Crawford Immersion School for Binary Language will help bridge the gap between humans and machines.”

Martin Helmsmouth, a 10-year-old enrolled in the school, describes how binary language can be used in human conversation. “Our brains are like computer chips, and binary code is like any other language, except that instead of using combinations of letters, it uses ones and zeros. So if I want to say, ‘hand me that apple’, I just need to convert those words into ones and zeroes, and then beep those to you.”

 

Speaking In Ones And Zeroes

“Beeping” or making alternately high and low pitched sounds to indicate the digits one or zero, is the brainchild of the school’s founder, Mr. Crawford. “Since it’s not yet practical to hard-wire our brains directly to computers, students can pass binary code from one to another by making simple binary sounds. For instance, ‘beep BEEP beep beep BEEP beep’ could signify ‘zero ONE zero zero ONE zero” he explained. And ‘BEEP BEEP beep beep beep BEEP’ would be ‘ONE ONE zero zero zero ONE”.

Using the American Standard Code for Information Interchange, known as ASCII, ones and zeroes can be converted to letters. Principal Leonora Massey demonstrated the binary sounds for the word apple. “Similarly to American Sign Language, we can convert each letter to its essential binary components. For instance, the letter “A” in ASCII binary code is 1100001, or, in binary speak, “BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP. The word ‘apple’, A-P-P-L-E, can be spoken as “BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep BEEP BEEP beep beep BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep BEEP BEEP beep beep BEEP BEEP beep beep BEEP beep BEEP.”

Although the New York City Department of Education strongly urged Mr. Crawford to consider making binary speak a concentration for the charter school, rather than an immersion program, the founder and Chief Executive Officer replied in a strongly worded binary letter of 4,322 pages. In it, he explained that the future belonged to those who dared to “BEEP BEEP beep beep BEEP beep BEEP BEEEP BEEP beep BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP beep”.

 

A Trend Is Born

Heather Bridgeport, whose son is enrolled at the school, was enthusiastic about binary immersion. “Ever since I read about this school in the Riverside google+ mom’s group, I knew it was going to be a great choice for Martin. Binary language is the future, and these kids are going to get a great head start on their peers.”

“I just know Martin is going to love the Crawford School, and so am I,” she said.

While the school has not been officially accredited by the State of New York, the incoming kindergarten class is already full, and the school has started a waiting list for new students, currently estimated at 16 years.

 

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