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Thursday, June 13, 2024

Trump Visits Arlington, Remembers What A Loser Martin Grimley Was


Standing graveside in a light drizzle last week, President Trump was chatting with soldiers at Arlington Cemetery waiting for ceremonies to begin when he recognized the name on a nearby tombstone.

“I’m not sure if this is the same guy,” the president said, “but man what a loser that Martin Grimley was – a real genius if you know what I mean.”

“I’m pretty sure he went into the military. There wasn’t much else that guy could do – no one would hire him for a real job,” the President joked with soldiers standing at attention. “Does it say if he was killed in battle, or did he fall off a ship or something?”

“Maybe he got brave later, but if if it’s the same guy, he probably tripped when he was running for cover and shot himself,” the president said as he leaned over the tombstone.

Although not present at the time, sources say the ghost of Martin Grimley was displeased when he heard of the remarks, and was seen at press time asking for directions to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and discussing plans with the ghost of Christmas Future.


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