WASHINGTON, DC –
Building on the popularity of the changes to this year’s forms, including six “building-block” schedules and new rules affecting 50 million filers, congress this week promised to work overtime in the coming months to churn out an additional 14 worksheets in time for next year’s tax season.
“We’ve listened to our constituents, and we’ve heard the message loud and clear,” said Blake Myersson of the House Committee on New Tax Forms: “more worksheets – give us more.”
Augmenting an already complex web of arcane terms, serpentine diagrams and opaque instructions which most Americans are unable to follow, the new worksheets for the 2019 tax year will “provide hours of added enjoyment, much like learning Mandarin, or memorizing the Constitution backwards,” said Mr. Myersson.
“If a citizen finishes the first few worksheets without an error, they will be challenged by even trickier questions on the next one, and then the next one,” Mr. Myersson added. “And with the added pressure of hefty fines, we feel that next year’s tax returns will be by far the most challenging yet.”
“In fact,” he added, “we’re pretty confident that by 2025, deciding to fill out a federal tax return yourself will not only be a fool’s errand exposing you to financial hardship and possible jail time, it will be, for all intents and purposes, a mathematical impossibility to get right.”
US federal tax forms for 2019 will be available for download on the MENSA website, and wherever Sudoku is sold.
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