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Sunday, April 21, 2024

Local Man Unconcerned By Trade War Since His Stuff Comes From Walmart

Although it has many Americans concerned, President Trump’s provocations of China over trade issues hasn’t seemed to bother local insurance adjuster and football coach Bill Rheinholtz, a lifelong U.S. resident. Mr. Rheinholtz, whose junior high football squad is undefeated this year, was glad the president was finally standing up to China.

“Good for him. It’s about time we started calling the shots,” he said as he packed for a hunting trip. “We’ve got everything we need right here in the USA. Look at all this stuff I bought at WalMart – new boots, camouflage jacket, socks, hunting cap, hunting knife – it didn’t hardly cost me anything,” he said, pointing to the various Chinese-made items in his pickup.

“Obama was always pussy-footing around. It’s about time someone strapped one on and told the Chinese how things are going to be. What do we need them for anyway? Look at this football helmet right here,” said Mr. Rheinholtz picking up a helmet manufactured in Zhejiang, China. “America is the greatest country on earth. As far as I’m concerned, the US can tell China to take a hike.”

“Shoot,” he said, glancing at a text message on his Chinese-manufactured phone and adjusting his Chinese-made baseball hat, “I’d much rather have a hamburger than Chinese food. So, you could completely cut off all contact with China and I probably would never even know the difference.”

“Although I know some people do like the stuff, so, if push came to shove, I guess we could still import the noodles,” he added.


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